Monthly Archives: January 2006

Wonderful definitions of designations at office

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby.
and last
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby

Google updates Toolbar

New! Google Toolbar Beta
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Dell to open fourth call centre in India – CEO

Dell Inc., the world’s largest computer maker, will set up its fourth customer contact centre in India, Chief Executive Kevin Rollins said in a statement on Monday.

The company also plans to double the size of its India-based product development team during the next two years, the statement said.

The contact centre in Gurgaon, on the outskirts of Delhi, is expected to add up to 1,000 workers to Dell’s total Indian employment of 10,000 by the end of 2006.

India will be the only country in Dell’s 30-site customer contact network that supports customers in all geographic regions

IITians form political party

Seems like Mani Rathnam’s Yuva is getting off the reels. Five IITians, all in their 20s, have decided to take up mainstream politics. The youths, based in Jodhpur, will be in the city to campaign for their national party, “ Paritrana’’ , which was launched in Jodhpur on Friday.

“Giving up handsome pay packages, comfort of family and support of friends wasn’t that easy,’’ says Tanmay Rajpurohit, the national president of the party and B Tech in aerospace from IIT Bombay followed by an MS from GeorgiaTech and double masters in arts.
“But my inner voice told me that I should invest my efforts in my country rather than making my pockets heavier,’’ said Ajit Ashwalayan Shukla, vice president of the party.

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The Prejudice Map – According to Google, people in the world are known for…

GMail secrets

Secret gmail feature #1: you can add and remove periods from your username with no change in mail routing. There is no collision with other accounts since only one account (stripped of periods) is allowed to exist. So sysop.chip@gmail.com is the same as sysopchip@gmail.com.

Secret gmail feature #2: you can append a plus and any string to your account name and it will still be routed to you. Try creating filters by giving out your address this way: eg example+spam@gmail.com will be delivered to username ‘example’ and sysop+lost!@gmail.com will be delivered to sysop@gmail.com.

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Gujarat.com – Gujarat on Net Launched


Gujarat on Net

Yahoo Mail now “Submits over SSL”

Yahoo

When you sign in to Yahoo!, you’re now protected via industry-standard Secure Socket Layer (SSL) encryption. This means that your password is more secure in transit when you sign in.

Jokes

Dog Watch
Guest: “Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?”

Hotel Host: “I can’t imagine, unless it’s because you have the plate he usually eats from.”

The Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses’ wife instead: “I’m afraid he died last week.” she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. “I told you” the wife replies, “he died last week.”
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

“I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?”

“Coz . . .” he replied laughing, “I just love hearing it. . . .”

Time
SURD: “Excuse me sir, what time is it?”
MAN: “It’s 3:15.”
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different
answer.”

The Burnt Ears
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.

He said: “I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear.”

The man asked “So what happened to your other ear?”

He said “That same stupid guy called again”

What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said “That’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”

Hotel Ka Khana
Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Bhai sahab kahan tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.

2 Pagal
Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhara aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari. Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

Clever
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon…
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
time when we don’t need it.

Germs
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

Disney Password
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long.

“Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”

What is Family, Wife, Husband, Hello

Do you know what is family?

Do you really understand what is behind the word family?

It gives me a shock when I know the answer.

So long I never realize I don’t know the real

Meaning of family……….

Here Is The Answer ………. FAMILY =

(F)ather

(A)nd

(M)other

(I)

(L)ove

(Y)ou

WHY does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:

(W)ashing

(I)roning

(F)ood

(E)ntertainment

WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND? because:

(H)ousing

(U)nderstanding

(S)haring

(B)uying

(A)nd

(N)ever

(D)emanding

Do you know that a simple “HELLO” can be a sweet one?

Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).

The word HELLO means :

(H)ow are you?

(E)verything all right?

(L)ike to hear from you

(L)ove to see you soon!

(O)bviously, I miss you ..