Ye Meri Life Hai - Chirag Mehta

Be Good & Do Good!

Month: April 2006 (page 2 of 4)

Life ho to Mumbai jaise.

Click Here to read how is life of MUMBAI

How True Is Your Love

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-It isn’t love, it’s LIKE.

You can’t keep your eyes or hands off of her, am I right??
-It isn’t love, it’s LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show her off??
-It isn’t love, it’s LUCK.

Do you want her because you know she’s there??

-It isn’t love, it’s LONELINESS.

Are you with her because it’s what everyone wants??

-It isn’t love, it’s LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand?
-It isn’t love, it’s LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don’t want to hurt her?
-It isn’t love, it’s PITY.

Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heart skip a beat??
-It isn’t love, it’s INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?
-It isn’t love, it’s FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of?
-It isn’t love, it’s a LIE.

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
-It isn’t love, it’s CHARITY.

Does your heart ache and breaks when she’s sad?
-Then it’s LOVE.

Do you cry for her pain, even when she’s strong?
-Then it’s LOVE.

Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
-Then it’s LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her?
-Then it’s LOVE.

Do you accept her faults because it’s a part of who she is?
-Then it’s LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret??
-Then it’s LOVE.

Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??
-Then it’s LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony?

Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
The answer is so simple cause it’s…LOVE.

It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

Gujju Jokes

Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman? – Because his name was ‘Ben’ Kingsley.

Why does the Gujju go to London? – To see his Big Ben.

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea? – Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.(snacks)

What is a Gujju picnic called? – A snake in the grass

Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent. (important)

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju? – Because he said ‘Sue kare chhe.’

Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten? – The Gujju told him, You are an impotent man.

What will a Gujju tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race? – Come on, Tomato, Ketch up

What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon? – His son failed in statistics.

Maro dikro Dubai gayo? – My son drowned.

Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams? – He wanted to get cent-par-cent.

Why did the gujju go to Rome ?
He wanted to listen to POPE music.

What did the Gujju have in the morning?
LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.

What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
You are going from BED To VERSE.

Why won’t the gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for KESH.

21st Century……Less ..Less..Less

21st Century…

Our communication – Wireless

Our dress – Topless

Our telephone – Cordless

Our cooking – Fireless

Our youth – Jobless

Our food – Fatless

Our labour – Effortless

Our conduct – Worthless

Our relation – Loveless

Our attitude – Careless

Our feelings – Heartless

Our politics – Shameless

Our education – Valueless

Our follies – Countless

Our arguments – Baseless

Our boss – Brainless

Our Job – Thankless

Our Salary – Very less

Skype says texts are censored by China

Skype, the fast-growing internet communications company that belongs to Ebay, has admitted that its partner in China has filtered text messages, defending this compliance with censorship laws as the only way to do business in the country.

In a Financial Times interview, Niklas Zennström, Skype’s chief executive, responded to accusations that the company had censored text messages containing words like “Falun Gong� – a banned movement – and “Dalai Lama�. He said that Tom Online, its joint venture partner in China, was complying with local law.

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Oracle CEO says may launch own Linux version

Oracle Corp. is considering launching its own Linux operating system and has looked at buying one of the main suppliers of open-source technology, Chief Executive Larry Ellison told a newspaper on Monday.

Such a move by the world’s top supplier of database management software into open source operating systems and applications would propel Oracle into sectors of the software industry where it has never directly competed.

It would also step up competition with rivals ranging from . Microsoft Corp to IBM to Red Hat and dozens of up and coming open-source start-ups, analysts said.

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Microsoft Launches Specialized Search Engine

Windows Live Academic Search scours the Web for journal articles, academic papers, and notes and slides from scholarly conferences.

Microsoft may be lagging in the search market, but give its engineers credit for moving fast to catch up.

The software company launched a new search engine for academic journals last week, and while it’s yet another example of Microsoft trailing Google in online software (digital maps and desktop searches also come to mind), Microsoft is showing what looks like a new willingness to take some chances and loosen up its release schedules.

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SOFTWARE PROFESSIONAL HUSBAND

Ack:~ Jothi

HUSBAND – HAI DEAR, I AM LOGGED IN.

WIFE – HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
HUSBAND – BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME

WIFE – BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
HUSBAND – ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.

WIFE – HAE BHAGWAN! FORGET IT WHERE’S YOUR SALARY.
HUSBAND – FILE IN USE, READ ONLY, TRY AFTER SOME TIME

WIFE – AT LEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
HUSBAND – SHARING VIOLATION, ACCESS DENIED

WIFE – I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRING YOU.
HUSBAND – DATA TYPE MISMATCH

WIFE – YOU ARE USELESS.
HUSBAND – BY DEFAULT

WIFE – WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING
HUSBAND – SYSTEM UNSTABLE, PRESS WHEN U R ANGRY FOR 1 MINUTE U LOSE 60 SECONDS OF HAPPINESS!

MunnaBhai M.C.A.

appun jaise tappori s/w Engg. ko kya maalum…
saala programming kis chidiya kaa naam hai…
template me subclassing karke apanaa timepass hota hai….
copy paste kaa kaam miltaa hai bass appun khush…!!!
fir yeh coding kaa lafdaa locha kaiko?
are kaiko ?
arre kaiko re?
fir ek din boleto appun ko project mila…..
ya haaaaaaaaaa!!!!
saala appun ka khopdi chakkar kha gaya …
computer ke saath dil saala takkar kha gayaa…!!!
appun ko lagaa appun kaa beda paar ho gaya…
boleto baap saala appun ko bhi kaam mil gaya…!!!
din bhar appun computer ke aagge…
koi lafdaa nahi kuch nahi…
tin din naa Raghu se raada na Abbhi se pangaa
bass choop chaap…
appun kaa bhidulog saala dar gaya…
bola kya be manya saala tu bhi programmer bann gaya…!!!
phir ek din appun ko kaam kartaa dekh vikya bola…
ye munnabhai kya coding bana rela hai baap…!!!
vikya ko pakdaa… bola idhar aa shahane tereko coding seekhataa hai… saale ko itnaa dhoyaa itnaa dhoyaa… abhi tak thobdaa waakadaa hai … aur aaj tak uska forms ke saath chattis kaa aakdaa hai…!!!
samzaa …?
samzaa…?
samzaaa naa…?
(fir …? fir kya huwa..?)
fir ek din appun ne coding poora kar diya…
form poora karke appun ne testing ko bhej diya…!!!
lagataa tha ab appun kaa kaam khatam ho gaya…!!!
par DTS me issues dekhake sala appun darr gaya…!!!
appun ke saamne tester ne mere coding me ki galtiyaa nikali… aapun ke coding ki poori waat laga di…. appun udharich khadaa thaa… par appun kuch nahi bola… kaiko bolega? kaiko…?
saala ek, ek kaam kiya thaa… usme bhi itne bugs…
par appun ek aansu nahi roya…
kaiko royega…?
kaiko..?
saala appunich yedaa thaa naa…!!!
agale din se phir wohi life chalu…
wohi gande mails forward karnaa, wohi messages, wohi template, wohi assignments… saala itnaa mails forward kiya…itnaa mails forward kiya… log samze mail server down hoyega… bhoolneka hai bhoolneka hai par kya karega…!!!
training milke bhi jab kaam nahi miltaa hai…
haa thoda bore huwa par chaltaa hai…
(phir …? phir kya huwa..?)
fir …?
fir kya…?
fir agale din appun ko aur ek project mila…!!!
shaappak…
saala appun ka khopdi phir chakkar kha gaya …
computer ke saath dil saala phir takkar kha gayaa…!!!

New software bridges gap between Windows, Mac

– For years, my desk has been cluttered by two computers — one Macintosh and one PC. It’s been an arrangement of necessity, as I prefer the Mac but sometimes need a Windows machine for work.

So it was with great interest that I read about Apple Computer Inc.’s launch last week of a program allowing newer Intel-based Macs to boot Microsoft Corp.’s Windows operating system. A day later, another company unveiled software that runs Windows in Mac OS X at nearly full speed.

In both cases, software emulation isn’t required because the new Macs share the same hardware brains as Windows PCs. Unlike Microsoft’s Virtual PC program that lets some Windows programs run on my old PowerPC-based Mac, there’s no significant performance hit.

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