Ye Meri Life Hai - Chirag Mehta

Be Good & Do Good!

Month: August 2006 (page 1 of 4)

Pluto phootoh!

Last week Darrel Hair raised his finger and pointed at the sky. There’s been another case of ball tampering. But this time it wasn’t Pakistan, but the International Astronomical Union, which dropped the ninth ball orbiting around the sun and kicked it out of the solar system.

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Family Problems Indians or Americans haaaa

Two men an Indian and an American, met at a bus stop and started a conversation.

The Indian kept complaining of family problems. Finally the American said:

“You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.

A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married and I got myself a step-daughter.

Later, my father married my step-daughter. That made my step daughter my step-mother. And my father became my step-son. Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

Much later the daughter of my wife, my step-mother, had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my Wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half brother.

This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my step-mother, is also his grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father’s wife.

I am my step-mother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRAND FATHER!!!!!!!!!!

And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS ????

Tatas buy fancy watermaker for $677m

In what is the largest Indian acquisition abroad so far, Tata Sons and Tata Tea have signed a definitive agreement to acquire a 30% stake in US-based enhanced water maker Glaceau, with an investment of $677 million.

The stake is being bought in Energy Brands Inc, which owns Glaceau, from US-based leading private equity firm TSG Consumer Partners.

Glaceau products fall in the health and wellness category and its brands include nutrient-enhanced Vitaminwater, electrolyte-enhanced Smartwater and flavour-enhanced Fruitwater.

Energy Brands sells five million bottles of Glaceau water products daily, and the investment brings the Tata group in direct competition with PepsiCo Inc, which is the US leader in non-soda sales, with 49% of the market. Arch rival Coca-Cola has a 25% share.

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Apple recalls 1.1m laptop batteries

Apple Computer is recalling more than one million laptop computer batteries due to the risk they could burst into flames, the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission said on Thursday.

The recall centered on lithium-ion batteries made by Japan-based Sony and sold with some iBook G4 and PowerBook G4 computers, according to the commission.

The Apple battery recall came on the heels of Dell Computer recalling as a fire hazard some 4.1 million laptop batteries with Sony-made cells.

Harry Potter kisses, kisses, kisses… then gets it right

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe took 30 takes to get his first screen kiss right.

The 17-year-old actor had his first kiss with Cho Chang, played by Katie Leung, 18, in Order Of The Phoenix.

We probably got it on the 30th take. My god it was fun. Me and Katie – we were awkward and nervous at first but once we got it, it was fine,” Daniel said.

Katie said: “Daniel is a good kisser. I really enjoyed it. He’s energetic and makes you feel relaxed“.

” The film, the fifth in the Potter series, will release next July

Santa Banta Jokes

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, “Gandi was a great man, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi.

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, ” You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!! Awesome an IAS sort of answer

Dealing with Anger (Some Dos and Don’ts)

1.Do take some time to think about the problem and decide on your position

2.Do remember that each person is responsible for his/ her own behaviour

3.Do try to appreciate the fact that other people are different. Different perspectives do not necessarily mean that one person is right and the other is wrong. It just means that they are different.

4.Do remember to count to ten before you start raving and ranting

5.Do speak in a “I” language. Say “I am angry…” or “I am sorry…”…Own up your feelings

6.Don’t act when most angry

7.Don’t use below the belt tactics. Be clear about how you feel, but don’t put others down.

8.Don’t make vague requests. Let others know specifically what you are feeling, want or need.

Three Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, “how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250. “$250”, the man said. “Well what does he do? “He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. “He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters.”

The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, “$1,000.” Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird’s specialty was.

The clerk replies, “Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything. But the other two call him ” Project Manager

KANK Review – dn’t waste Ur weekend…

Ack:- Gayatree Nalawad

1. The program *KANK* has not been built as per the Functionality Design Specifications (script).

2. The director should have first created a proper Design Document (screenplay) and then begun the actual coding.

3. *AmitabhBachchan* is a powerful class with a number of methods and functions but it has not been effectively used.

4. *AbhishekBachchan,* a derived class of *AmitabhBachchan*, inherits all the attributes and properties of its parent class.

5. *ShahRukhKhan* and *RaniMukherjee* are emotionally overloaded and go into an infinite weeping loop every 60 milliseconds.

6. The methods such as *Songs()* and *Cinematography()* have been properly executed and produce fantastic results.

7. *PreityZinta* is an abstract class, which looks pretty but actually does nothing.

8. Functions like *ArjunRampal, JA, and KD* pass NULL values and are redundant.

9. The program takes an unbearably long time to terminate? about 3 hours and 20 minutes.

10. In User Acceptance Testing, too many defects were found.

Overall, the package is not worth purchasing. You may opt for pirated copies, though.

Google launches free wireless Internet service

Google has opened a wireless Internet umbrella over its hometown in northern California’s high-tech Silicon Valley, enabling anyone in the city to connect online for free.

It worked smashingly,” Chris Sacca, Google head of special initiatives, said. “We have really been looking forward to this day. The citizens have embraced it as their network.”

Google spent one million dollars creating a network that lets people with wireless-enabled computers, telephones or other devices to link to the Internet nearly anywhere in the city of Mountain View, which covers almost 31 sqkm.

Google affixed WiFi antennae to city-owned lamp posts and was working with residents who have offered their homes as antenna spots in ‘dead zones.’

The cost of running the system was “phenomenally cheap” and the network was in keeping with Google’s belief in universal access to the Internet and the world’s information, according to Sacca.

Ack: – DNA India

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