A chicken farmer went to a local bar. . . sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”
“What a coincidence,” the farmer says, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”
“This is a special day for me too, I’m also celebrating!” says the woman.
“What a coincidence” says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”
“My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I’m pregnant!”
“What a coincidence,” says the man . . . “I’m a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally laying fertilized eggs.”
“That’s great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?” . “I used a different cock,” he replied.
The woman smiled and said, “What a coincidence!”
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”
“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transportation?” the father asked.
“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered.
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”
“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.
“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”
An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson.
Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bhagavat Geeta. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.
One day the grandson asked, “Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavat Geeta just like you but I don’t understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavat Geeta do?”
The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, “Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.”
The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, “You’ll have to move a little faster next time,” and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.
This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, “I don’t want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You’re just not trying hard enough,” and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.
At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.
The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, “See Grandpa, it’s useless!”
“So you think it is useless?” The old man said, “Look at the basket.”
The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.
“Son, that’s what happens when you read the Bhagavat Geeta. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our lives.”
I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring, “he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my car.”
AF – Always friend
BF – Boy friend
CF – Close friend
DF – Dear friend
EF – Ever friend
FF – Forever friend
GF – girl friend
HF – Helping friend
IF – Innocent friend
JF – Jovial friend
KF – Kind friend
LF – Lovely friend
MF – Merry friend
NF – Naughty friend
OF – Only friend
PF – Personal friend
QF – Quiet friend
RF – Rare friend
SF – Special friend
TF – Thick friend
UF – Understanding friend
VF – Valuable friend
WF – Wonderful friend
XF – Xcellent friend
YF – Youth friend
ZF – Zeal friend
select any 1 out of it for our friends
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Bill Gates gave a speech at a high school about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.
Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
If you’re mad with someone and nobody’s there to fix the situation… You fix it. Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend. And if u doesn’t, tomorrow can be too late.
If you’re in love with somebody, but that person doesn’t know… tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love with you. And if you don’t say it, tomorrow can be too late.
If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you… tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And if you don’t tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you need a hug of a friend… ask her/him for it. Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don’t ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you really have friends who you appreciate… tell them. Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don’t and they leave or go far away today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them… do it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don’t and they leave today, and then tomorrow can be too late.
Forward these messages today… Coz tomorrow can be too late…