Monthly Archives: August 2007

Knowledge

A guy was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with
your fellow passenger. The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, ‘What would you like to talk about?’ hmmmm… ‘How about nuclear power?’ said the guy.

‘OK’. She said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A Horse, a Cow, and a Deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flatpatty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do yo suppose that is?’

The guy thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea. The girl replied… ‘Do you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?’

Bosses can make you do anything…….

Poultry farm ke malik ne tammaam Murgiyon ko Order diya “Agar tum logon ne kal se Do–Do ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band”

Sab ne dar ke maare do-do ande diye.

Magar ek ne sirf ek hi anda diya.

Malik “Tumne 1 hi anda kyon diya? ”

Jawab mila…

“Sir ye toh aapke dar ki wajah se diya hai. Waise main to Murga hoon”……..

Bill Gates’ 11 rules

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

When Superheroes get drunk

Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper.
The first guy said, ”Hey, I’ll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!”

Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ”YOU’RE ON!”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ”WOW,” screamed the 2nd guy, ”That was incredible. Do it again!”

So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ”That is remarkable. Do it one more time!’

”Ok,” said the first guy, ”But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it.’
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ”Your turn,” he said.

So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ”This is easy. He did it, so can I!’
The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer.

The bartender remarked, ”You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman!”’

Top 7 reasons why I joined IT

1) I hated sleep.

2) I had enjoyed my life enough.

3) I couldn’t live without tension.

4) I wanted to pay for my sins.

5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : karm karo , phal ki ichha na karo..

6) Everything in life has a reason; I wanted to prove it wrong.

7) I wanted to take revenge on myself .

Yahoo to shut down photo service, push Flickr

Yahoo Inc is shutting down Yahoo Photos, its first-generation photo storage site, and asking users to move instead to Yahoo’s Web 2.0 photo sharing site, Flickr, a Yahoo official said on Thursday.

In June, tens of milllions of registered users of Yahoo Photos will be notified of various options including upgrading to Yahoo’s Flickr service or various outside-photo storage sites, according to Flickr co-founder Stewart Butterfield.

Yahoo also will offer consumers the option of loading their photos on competing sites when users are notified next month.

Read Complete Story @ Hindustan Times

ToDaY’s GeeK

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

List of Google Subdomains

Tony Ruscoe ..the Genius states as follows

“if you’re interested in the full list of Google subdomains which I found using script (ASP and the MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP object) – and I know there are others – the list is available @ Tony Ruscoe’s Blog

Please note: The list below is far from complete and some of the subdomains may no longer be active.

VoIP Service Makes ISD Calls as Cheap as 1 Rupee

MTNL and Aksh Optifibre have reportedly launched the country’s cheapest voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) service in New Delhi.

With this service, all MTNL broadband subscribers and MTNL PCO holders can call the US, UK, Canada, and Australia at rates as low as Re 1 per minute. Using the service will be similar to making calls from a normal telephone without having to use a PC.

The VoIP service will potentially reach more than 4-million MTNL broadband subscribers in Delhi and Mumbai. It will also be available to all MTNL PCO holders

Read More @ Techtree.com

Google search results say “This site may harm your computer?”

Google states as follows ….

We want our users to feel safe when they search the web, and we’re continuously working to identify dangerous sites and increase protection for our users. This warning message appears with search results we’ve identified as sites that may install malicious software on your computer:

Read More @ Google Help