* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant
turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest sitting next to her, “Father, may I ask you for a favour?” “Of course. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs’ limit.And I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Could you carry it through the Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, my dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will ever question you.” When they got to the Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The Customs officer asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The officer thought this answer rather strange, so he continued to ask, “And what do you have to declare from your waist down to the floor?”

“I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father – “Next!”

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun Mhatre an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?’ So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’ So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘ I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but
what do I have to lose?’ So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says ‘Kaisa hai re tu’
The other candidate answers ‘Accha hai re’

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam. ”

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.

Once a smart S/W engineer and his PM were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma. With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping. Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that,” The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy…”

PM thought that,” I can’t believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake”
That girl thought that,” I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him”.
Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?
“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes…because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM………

A little boy wanted Rs.500 very badly and prayed for weeks, But nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs.500 .
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to ” God , India”,they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a JOKE.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200.

The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:

“Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.300 as taxes!”

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a seriesof jokes he’d heard recently.

Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, thatis except Mike.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said,

“What’s the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?”

“My sense of humor is fine,” he said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m quitting tomorrow.”

Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk

with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask

him. One boy raised his hand and stood up.

Bush: what’s your name

John: john

Bush: what’s your question

John: sir I have three questions

1) why did Americaattack Iraqwithout the approval of UNO

2) where is Osama

3) why do Americasupport Pakistanso much

Bush: you are an intelligent student john. ( just then the bell for
recess rang).

oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.

After the recess

Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any
question?

Peter raises his hand

Bush :What’s your name?

Peter : sir I have 5 questions.

1) why did Americaattack Iraqwithout the approval of UNO

2) where is Osama

3) why do Americasupport Pakistanso much

4) why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time

5) where is JOHN?

( just then the bell for recess rang again ….).

After the recess

Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any
question?

Then, no one raised their hand….