Ye Meri Life Hai - Chirag Mehta

Be Good & Do Good!

Month: October 2007 (page 2 of 4)

Lighter side of Poems

Ack:- Kavita Ajmera

Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Don’t feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you…

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn’t it rain on you?

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And….
I got a heart attack straight away…

God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU

Making Fool of urself

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company,
where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”
The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the Congratulations for?”
One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?”
The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”
The three friends said: “What a shame..what a disappointment. ”
The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either.
His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.”

PJ of the Day

Lady drinking COKE,
machchhar falls in.
Lady takes it out.
machchhar says “MAA”.
Lady asks why did u call me MAA.
Machar says

“Mai teri “COKE” se nikla hu MAA.

World’s most innovative companies

To determine World’s most innovative companies, a survey is conducted by the Boston Consulting Group & BusinessWeek. More then 2,500 executive worldwide voted for the most pioneering companies doing business today. Apple and Google once again is on top. In this 2007 survey some new companies gain significient jump in their ranking compare to previous year, e.g. Walt Disney ranked No. 8 this time.(It was ranked 43rd in 2006) This is due to takeover of Pixar from Apple. Also Boeing rose to No. 21 (2006 Ranking No. 70) because of revolutionary jet plane 787 Dreamliner.

 

Honda Motors’s ranking also improved compare to last year(from 23rd in 2006 to 12th in 2007). Honda is known for fuel-efficient cars. Environmental approach and use of solar panels are major drivers of innovation at Honda.

 

Some companies ranking dropped little bit, like Dell and eBay. Dell is known for it’s efficient direct-to-customer model but it is struggling to adapt a shifting in computer market. Today retailing is growing at much faster rate and now Dell is going to adapt PC retailing also through partnership with Wal-Mart stores. eBay is pioneered in person-to-person e-commerce but growing competition from other companies slowed eBay’s growth. Though eBay bought Skype it still need to improve it’s business model to remain leader in online market.

 

This survey shows some interesting result. According to 2007 survey, just 46% of respondents (down from 52% last year) said they were satisfied  with their return on innovation spending. Just 23% of respondents called it their top concern in this survey, down significantly from 32% last year.

 

The leaders of companies recognize that developing breakthrough products, revamping operational process and coming up with new business models doesn’t happen overnight. They are working to build organizations that are capable of sustained innovation and this requires taking risk and investing for the long term. They focus on the things that really matter, such as hiring the most talented employee and providing them with the environment that they need to thrive. Companies can make it really complicated or really simple.

 

Arthur D. Levinson, chairman of Genentech Inc. says that

 

If you want an innovative environment, hire innovative people, listen
to them tell you want they want,and do it

 Source : BCG-Businessweek Special Report

Free Rice for Worlds Hungry

Comments from Freerice Donor Relations Officer::

Yes, the Freerice.com website is an innovative initiative to raise funds for the purchase of rice for the world’s hungry. WFP is happy to have been selected as beneficiary of this creative idea.

Freerice.com is quite new and we were only recently asked to be the beneficiary. We are working on placing information on our own website to promote the initiative and to reassure people around the world who, like you, are enthusiastic about it, but cautious about participating in an activity that may not be what it claims. We expect to have initial information on our site within a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, we encourage you to spread the word. The site has become quite popular and every grain counts! So, indeed, play, polish up your vocabulary, and keep the donations coming!

Sardarji’s Mom’s Letter

Dear Banta
Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I’m not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Good Quotes …

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
–Dennis Ritchie

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
–Ralph Johnson

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
–Fred Brooks

It’s hard enough to find an error in your code when you’re looking for it;
It’s even harder when you’ve assumed your code is error-free.
–Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
–Bertrand Russell

If debugging is the process of removing bugs,
Then programming must be the process of putting them in.
–Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.
–Bertrand Meyer

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
–Alan J. Perlis

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
–Bill Gates

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.
–Tom Cargill

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.
–Anon

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn’t work.
Practice is when something works, but you don’t know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don’t know why.

The Six Phases of a Project:
· Enthusiasm
· Disillusionment
· Panic
· Search for the Guilty
· Punishment of the Innocent
· Praise for non-participants

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal,
When you do it in front of a live audience
The probability of a flawless presentation
Is inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

Killing PJ of the Day

Q. Below is a 2 BY 2 matrix.

(remember jo jeeta wahi sikander song …)

[ pehla nasha pehla khumar , ???????? ]

[ ????????, ???????? ]

The element in the 1st row, 1st column is ‘pehla nasha pehla khumar’.

Can you tell me the values of other 3 elements of this matrix?

Forgot Arrays ?? try try….

Ans:

The complete matrix is as shown below:

[pehla nasha pehla khumar , pehla nasha dusara khumar]

[dusara nasha pehla khumar , dusara nasha dusara khumar ]

Trivia about cultures across the world

In Japan, a visiting card should be respected like a person

In Greece, give your business card to everyone you meet

In Hong Kong, avoid the colors blue and white in your presentation

In Bulgaria/Hungary: napkins on the table not on the lap

In Indonesia, never touch another person’s head

The Irish always toast their visitors, and consider refusal to drink a bit of an insult

Meals in Italy are generally unhurried, and can last up to four hours

When doing business in Iceland, it is considered bad form to discuss the weather

In Finland, an invitation to join your host in the sauna represents an honour

Czechs remove their shoes when entering a home and leave them in the entryway

In Bulgaria, ‘yes’ is indicated by shaking the head from side to side and ‘no’ is expressed with one or two nods

Australians generally don’t like to talk business during leisure hours, and they avoid making class distinction

Mental Hospital :)

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead…
.
.
.

.

.
.
Edna replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home???”

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