Year: 2008 (Page 10 of 14)

Ack:- Heena

Teri doli uthi,
Meri mayyat uthi,
Phool tujh par bhi barse,
Phool mujh par bhi barse,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,
…………….
Tu saj gayi,
Mujhe sajaya gaya ,
Tu bhi ghar ko chali,
Main bi ghar ko chala,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

………….

Tu uth ke gayi,
Mujhe uthaya gaya ,
Mehfil wahan bhi thi,
Log yahan bhi the,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

…………..

Unka hasna wahan,
Inka rona yahan,
Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,

Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere pade,
Tera nikah pada, Mera janaaza pada,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,
Tujhe apnaya gaya ,
Mujhe dafnaya gaya.

, FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA, !!! -:(

The Manager says: Do you have any sales experience?
The Indian says: Sir, I was a salesman back home in India.
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. You start tomorrow.. Ill come down after we close and see how you did.

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. How many sales did you make today?
Indian boy says: Sir, Just ONE sale.
The boss says: Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, youd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?

Indian boy says: 237. 64
Boss says: 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?
Indian boy says: Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where hes going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him hell be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didnt think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where hell be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while were at it, I should throw in about worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: Youre not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?

Indian boy says: No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind.

Ack :- Gayatreee

I remember the incident – I was in a restaurant and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you know you wouldn’t if she weren’t there. And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we’d have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting.

A while later, she asked me the question what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff.My jokes weren’t funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else.
What was it?
Why? Why? Why?

Two days later, I still couldn’t get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. ‘So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?’ And then she said, trying to be nice, ‘Well, it’s just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don’t know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything…not very touchy feely’.

Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don’t really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.
It’s time to set the record straight.

It’s true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, ‘Are you getting married next year or not?’ I was liable to say, ‘Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,’ and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn’t explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.

Yet, ladies, I don’t think we’re bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the this ‘touchy-feely’ thing. Relationships.

Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for ‘gulab-jamuns’ in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man. So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, ‘So, what were your hostel days like?’ and chances are, you’ll see a heart behind the calculator.

Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers… too cheesy. Music… don’t know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears… don’t even go there.Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. ‘Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won’t get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely… oops, I mean coffee/tea?’

She giggled. When they giggle, you have won

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
=> Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
=> Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words, Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
=> Men = Donkeys + earn money
=> Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words, Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
=> Women = Donkeys + spend
=> Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words, Women that don’t spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have? Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!