{"id":144,"date":"2006-01-25T00:12:41","date_gmt":"2006-01-24T18:42:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/2006\/01\/25\/jokes\/"},"modified":"2006-01-25T00:12:41","modified_gmt":"2006-01-24T18:42:41","slug":"jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/2006\/01\/25\/jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Dog Watch<\/strong><br \/>\nGuest: &#8220;Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Hotel Host: &#8220;I can&#8217;t imagine, unless it&#8217;s because you have the plate he usually eats from.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Boss<\/strong><br \/>\nA guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses&#8217; wife instead: &#8220;I&#8217;m afraid he died last week.&#8221; she explains.<br \/>\nThe next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. &#8220;I told you&#8221; the wife replies, &#8220;he died last week.&#8221;<br \/>\nThe next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Coz . . .&#8221; he replied laughing, &#8220;I just love hearing it. . . .&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Time<\/strong><br \/>\nSURD: &#8220;Excuse me sir, what time is it?&#8221;<br \/>\nMAN: &#8220;It&#8217;s 3:15.&#8221;<br \/>\nSURD: (puzzled look on his face) &#8220;You know, it&#8217;s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get  a different<br \/>\nanswer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Burnt Ears<\/strong><br \/>\nOne day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.<\/p>\n<p>He said: &#8220;I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The man asked &#8220;So what happened to your other ear?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He said &#8220;That same stupid guy called again&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>What part did you get?<\/strong><br \/>\nThis one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.<\/p>\n<p>His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?<\/p>\n<p>He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.<\/p>\n<p>His father congratulated him. And then he said &#8220;That&#8217;s good son, maybe next time you&#8217;ll get a talking role!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hotel Ka Khana<\/strong><br \/>\nCustomer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?<br \/>\nHotel Wala : Bhai sahab kahan tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2 Pagal<\/strong><br \/>\nPehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhara aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari. Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.<\/p>\n<p> <strong>Clever<\/strong><br \/>\nTeacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?<br \/>\nPupil: Moon&#8230;<br \/>\nTeacher : Why?<br \/>\nPupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day<br \/>\ntime when we don&#8217;t need it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Germs<\/strong><br \/>\nTeacher: What r the people of Turkey called?<br \/>\nStudent: I don&#8217;t know.<br \/>\nTeacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?<br \/>\nStudent: They r called Germs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Disney Password<\/strong><br \/>\nMy kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.<\/p>\n<p>I noticed their Disney password was &#8220;MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,&#8221; and asked why it was so long.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Because,&#8221; my son explained, &#8220;they say it has to have at least four characters.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dog Watch Guest: &#8220;Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?&#8221; Hotel Host: &#8220;I can&#8217;t imagine, unless it&#8217;s because you have the plate he usually eats from.&#8221; The Boss A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses&#8217; wife instead: &#8220;I&#8217;m afraid he died last week.&#8221; she explains. The next day the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-fun","post-preview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=144"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chiragmehta.info\/chirag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}