Software Engineers are advised not to spend too much time sitting before computers because the following things may happen in their future.

1. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

2. When counting objects, you count 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D..

3. At the superstore, you check to see if a kilogram is 1024 grams, a litre is 1024 mls.

4. When you dream, you are going to dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

5. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that damn machine and come to sleep, then I am going to divorce you!”, you are going to scream at her for omitting the “else” clause.

6. You try to sleep , and think : sleep(8 * 60 * 60); /* sleep for 8 hours */

7. When you are reading a book, you would look for the scroll bar to get to the next page.

8. If you want to call somebody you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number…

9. You are going to look for an icon to double-click, to open your bedroom window.

10. When you go to balance your cheque book, you would discover that you’ll be doing the math in octal.

11.You would look for a trash can icon to throw garbage.

12.When you get in the elevator you would double-click the button for the floor you want to go

AcK :~ Gunjan Saxena

(I cant say its true or imaginary , just read & enjoy)

The tremendously popular TV game show,”Kaun Banega CrorePati 2″ claimed its victim in the capital. Mrs Neelam Arora, utterly disgusted with her husband’s inability to answer the simplest of questions, divorced him immediately after the end of the show. The entire event has shaken the capital to the core and has left the local populace in a state of daze. Mrs Neelam Arora, when contacted, was all fire and fury.

“How can you stay married to a dumb brick who cannot answer even the first 1000 Rupees question? Even a 6 year old can answer such questions , but my husband,I mean, my ex-husband *%$#@&*(unprintable) couldn’t do it. That’s why; I called a lawyer immediately and filed divorce papers.” She also added that all her friends and relatives supported her move. She also dismissed the suggestion that her husband, for motives best known to him, could have deliberately flunked the question.

Mr. Pankaj Arora, a property dealer in one of the colonies of East Delhi, was happy when he got the news from the Star TV network that he had got selected, one among millions, for participating in the popular show and he considered himself lucky to be so chosen. He was also told to bring his wife along to the studios at Mumbai where the game shows were to be hosted by Mr Amitabh Bachhan. Winning a crore was hardly in the mind of Mr Arora and all Mr Pankaj Arora wanted to do there was to gape at his idol and may be he thought he could try to sell him a few of the plots of his clients to Amitabh at a small tidy margin. But Mrs Arora was made of sterner stuff. Mrs Neelam Arora, ever the ambitious wife, now took charge of her indolent husband. She hired the best tutor from Sachdev Tutorials, made him learn all the countries and capitals in the world, currencies of different countries, names of different states,rivers,towns in the country etc. After 3 weeks of gruelling schedule of cramming, Mr Arora and Mrs Arora confidently embarked on their journey to Mumbai, little knowing that the game show was to change their lives forever. Mr Arora was one among the 10 hopefuls selected for the ‘fastest finger first’ event. Amitabh appeared in flesh and blood and Mr Pankaj Arora, whose lifetime ambition, was to see his childhood hero in person, felt a sense of fulfillment and pressed some buttons in a hurry. Mr Arora couldn’t believe it! Mrs Neelam Arora felt like a mother whose favourite kid had won the best baby show. Not only had he given correct answers, but he had done so even before others could begin!

There was a hubbub around the auditorium as Mr Pankaj Arora gingerly took the seat from Amitabh for everyone was convinced that history was going to be made that day. There was suspense in the air and the audience could sense money floating all around them. Amitabh Bachhan started the show by smiling benignly at the nervous Mr Arora, the kind of smile he would give to a ABCL investor, clapped his hands and read out the question.

“Mr Pankaj Arora, yehi hai aap ka pehla sawaal. Who wrote ‘Valmiki Ramayan’?
The choices are
A. Tulsidas
B. Ramanand Sagar
C. B R Chopra
D. Valmiki?”

Mr Pankaj Arora very promptly said, “Ramanand Sagar!”.

He had not forgotten the days when he used to get up early on Sundays solely to watch the epic. Amitabh again smiled the benign smile, cajoled him to use his lifeline, audience poll etc., but Mr Pankaj Arora, like a true blue property dealer, didn’t budge from his position. He later told everyone sobbingly that he wanted to preserve the lifelines for using them after touching the 25 lac mark

Amitabh commisserated with him and told a shocked Mr Arora that his answer was wrong. The pin-drop silence that followed immediately was only to be broken by loud angry shriek from a female, that evidently from a female, who had been done in by her husband.

She shouted immediately, “Is there a lawyer in the house?”. Before the pandemonium that broke out could settle in, Mr Arora and Mrs Arora had parted ways as husband and wife. This event has caused great sensation among the community of TV viewers and the effect has been electric among the chronic followers of this game show. Whether this ‘wife-divorcing-husband -for-flunking-the-first- question’ event, will drive away all husbands from the show or pull them with magnetic attraction to the greatest TV game show ever, only time alone can tell

– Agency news.

‘It was a very emotional one for me’ – Tendulkar
(As told to Anand Vasu, assistant editor if Cricinfo after his 35th Test hundred at Delhi on December 10 2005)

In relaxed yet sporty clothes, shy grin plastered across his face, under the glare of numerous television-camera spotlights, Sachin Tendulkar was calm and collected, but you could sense the excitement and sheer joy as he answered a volley of questions after reaching his 35th Test hundred. “Landmarks happen. You just go and bat because you want to bat well and get runs for your team. If you chase landmarks then it becomes a problem,” said Tendulkar. “The wait was more for the people than for me. After the Bangladesh hundred we have played only four Test matches. It was not that it was 25 Tests and everyone had run out of patience.”

More emotional than most people have ever seen him on a cricket field, Tendulkar reacted with a long look up to the heavens when he reached the hundred, and admitted it was different from what he had felt before. “That was for my father. I miss my father very much. I’m sure he would have enjoyed every moment of this if he were here. There have been very few moments in my life when I have got emotional. But this time I felt very different.”

Soon after, though, Tendulkar raised his bat a second time. “It was for the team. This was a special occasion for me. They appreciated it so I acknowledged them. Everyone came downstairs [from the dressing-room] to congratulate me. I didn’t say anything, I was finding it difficult to talk. I was feeling shy.”

From his first Test century in Manchester, way back in 1990, it has been a long journey. “The first century I made when we had to save a Test match. This one was played in a very different situation,” said Tendulkar. “It was a very emotional one for me. It is difficult to say whether the first one is important or the last one is important but if I didn’t get the ones in the middle I wouldn’t have got to this stage.” Some batsmen insist that picking a favourite out of centuries is like choosing between your children, but Tendulkar was able to put his finger on his best. “Every century is important. But the hundred against Australia at Perth in 1992 was probably my best.

“This was a very important hundred for me, four-and-a-half months after elbow surgery. Mentally it [the break because of injury] was very tough on me but physically I could cope. I got frustrated and impatient, so getting out of it was not a singular effort – my family, physio, trainer … they all helped.”

There was a time in the day when it seemed unlikely that Tendulkar would reach his century before stumps were drawn. But a sudden spurt of runs, spurred on by three consecutive boundaries off Muttiah Muralitharan, ensured that he got the monkey off his back. But getting it over with was never on his mind. “No I did not think of that. But when they changed the ball, the new one was harder,” he said. “I could hit it easier because it came onto the bat well.” Yet he did admit that he had, in his mind’s eye, lived out this moment already. “One visualises before every Test the moment of getting a hundred. Similarly I did last night. It is part of my pre-match preparation.”

On the eve of the match there was plenty of advice for Tendulkar. What did the coach have to say to him? “All we were discussing was not thinking about No. 35 – that it was just another innings, just another century. Coincidentally I got the same advice from my wife. It’s to listen to words like these. It helps.”

And even though he was the man of the moment, Tendulkar still had time to remember an approaching milestone for another giant in Indian cricket. “It [This ground] was always remembered for Anil Kumble’s ten wickets, now there are two reasons to remember it. We hope there will be similar reason to remember the Ahmedabad Test, where Anil is playing his 100th match.”

With No. 35 out of the way, the question of where to next popped up, and Tendulkar’s reply was spontaneous. “Back to the hotel!” On a more serious note, when asked what could be expected of him, Tendulkar said, “I can’t say what heights I am going to achieve. But what you can expect from me, what is in my hands, is 100% commitment and sincerity and playing for the cause of the team.”

In all the adulation, Tendulkar has somehow managed to remain remarkably humble. On the day when he broke Gavaskar’s 22-year-old record, he said, referring to the little man with the title Mr, “Heroes will always be heroes. Mr. Gavaskar will always be a hero of mine. I would say to him, `Thank you for the support you have given us. Not only me but other batsmen as well. It really helps to have senior cricketers who can speak to you about your game.’ I have often gone to him for advice and he has set such benchmarks and standards for us that you needed to have a disciplined and dedicated life to get to a landmark like this.”

And in that moment there was a hint of how Tendulkar had managed to stay on the straight an narrow path through 20,000-plus international runs, virtually every batting record in the book, the adulation of millions, multi-crore sponsorship deals … Because at the end of it all, when he goes out to bat, Tendulkar is still just that curly-haired little boy who loves to bat.

A the story of hero continues ……….