Be Good & Do Good!

Month: October 2008 (Page 3 of 3)

Sardar Jokes Contd.,

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn’t come back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else?

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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.

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Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

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Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

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Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to Punjab ,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.

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Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki jagah pizza
hut kyun leja raha hai………
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein ‘Delivery Free’ hai..

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Sardarji aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?
Sardarji: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gaya aur mene kaha madam jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai…..

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A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab…
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

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Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

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American says: ‘ US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..’
Sardarji says: ‘ India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!’

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Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

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Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.

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2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

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A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney.

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Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone
& saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was
going & I sent my wife with him

CAPTCHA-breaking is a huge business in India

Small Iindian companies solving 25K captchas per day!!! and that’s a headache for Gmail/Hotmail/yahoo.

CAPTCHA-breaking is a huge business in nations like India, where workers will input thousands of CAPTCHAs per day in exchange for a minuscule amount of money per CAPTCHA successfully decoded.

2008 hasn’t been the best year for CAPTCHA-based anti-spam systems; Google’s Gmail CAPTCHA was broken in February, followed by that of Hotmail in April. Researchers have fought back by incorporating images into CAPTCHAs, but this is only effective against bot-driven CAPTCHA crackers, and while automated attackers may be responsible for a majority of the CAPTCHA-breaking attempts that occur every day, they no longer account for the entirety.

Dancho Danchev, writing for ZDNet, reports on the emergence of CAPTCHA-breaking as an economic model in India. He reports that it’s impossible to untangle the corporate web that’s unfurled, given that large CAPTCHA-breaking companies often farm work out to multiple smaller businesses, but all available information suggests that CAPTCHA-cracking (referred to as “solving” in marketing parlance) is a booming sector of the Indian tech economy. Danchev reports that CAPTCHA-crackers can earn more per day than they can as legitimate data processing centers.

Indian CAPTCHA-crackers (perhaps they were Chinese gold farmers in another life) appear to earn between 1/10 and 1/8 of a cent per CAPTCHA solved. The businesses in question advertise a wide range of available CAPTCHAs per day; smaller outfits claim they can provide 25,000-50,000 solutions per day, while large-scale operations advertise themselves as producing up to 700,000 CAPTCHAs in a single day. These cracking systems are also designed to minimize lag; one company states it can return CAPTCHAs from MySpace within 20 seconds, though they rather humorously note: “We run into many slowdowns. The most common bottleneck is that MySpace itself is often bogged down, slow and error prone, which then makes it very difficult for our servers to pull captchas quickly.”

One can’t help wondering if heavy traffic from India is one reason why MySpace is boggy, lethargic, and “error-prone.” CAPTCHAs may not be dead, at least not yet, but the corporatization of breaking spells serious trouble for any company that relies on CAPTCHAs to foil spammers. They were nice while they lasted (if occasionally impossible to read), but it’s hard to see how researchers will find a CAPTCHA that legitimate customers can read that remains illegible to humans paid to solve them.

Source : ArsTechnica

Is it the end of capitalism in US?

As Wall Street tottered on the brink of collapse and the US government unveiled one the largest market interventions in its history, stakeholders from every side weighed in with incredibly stark views of the country’s economic future.

The assessments did not just focus on the country’s short-term economic health. Many believe this week’s events could drastically change the way the US does business.

“Capitalism as we knew it – free-market capitalism – seems to be dead,” declared Rob Cox, editor of financial website breakingviews.com.

The extent of the US government’s reach into the operations of private companies has been unprecedented. On Tuesday it took control of the world’s largest insurer, American International Group Inc. The week before it took over mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which together guarantee nearly half of the $12-trillion US mortgage market.

If Congress approves the necessary legislation next week, the government could become the biggest player in the US financial sector, taking control of hundreds of billions of dollars in shaky mortgage-related assets that are at the centre of the credit crisis.

Some were calling it “socialized capitalism” and predicting a price tag for the taxpayer as high as $1 trillion , yet even typically free-market Republicans seemed to acknowledge there was little other choice.

Republican Senator Jon Kyl described the effects of Wall Street’s risk-taking as a “cancer” spreading across the wider economy, shutting down the availability of credit to the average consumer and making it unavoidable for the government to take over.

It marks a stark change from the support of deregulation and smaller government that has led economic policy over the last few decades in the US.

Read Complete Analysis of US Capitalism @ Economic Times

Q&A: Financial crisis and you

Here goes Answers of Questions which relates Financial crisis and WE

The past month has been one of unprecedented turmoil in the financial markets. Each day has brought an extraordinary development that would have seemed astonishing just the day before.

In the largest bank failure yet in the United States, Washington Mutual, the giant mortgage lender which had assets valued at $307bn (£167bn), was closed down by regulators. It was then sold to rival JP Morgan Chase for $1.9bn.

The US investment bank Lehman Brothers was allowed to go bust while one of the world’s largest insurers AIG was bailed out. In the UK, a takeover of the biggest mortgage lender HBOS was approved by the government to forestall a run on it by customers.

To try and put an end to the turmoil, the US authorities have been seeking approval from Congress for a $700bn bail-out plan to relieve the US banking system of its mortgage debts and limits were put on so-called “short-selling” of shares, both in the UK and the USA.

BBC News looks at whether the average person is really in a different position from just a couple of weeks ago.

Is my bank safe?
This is what the UK (and US) government and financial authorities have been worried about – that banks exposed to too many defaulting mortgages might collapse.

With the very fear of this causing the financial system to seize up again, the worry was that this prospect might become a self-fulfilling prophecy, with a domino effect undermining the banking system here and abroad.

Hence the rush to ensure that HBOS was taken over, despite the bank and the authorities saying until they were blue in the face that it had lots of money.

What about my savings?
As long as you have less than £35,000 saved with any one UK financial institution, you will not lose if the worst happens and your bank goes under.

That is because of the protection offered by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme.

However, you might have to wait a while to get your money back.

Unlike in the US, where small banks frequently go bust, there is no mechanism in place yet to effect a swift rescue of a UK bank.

If you have more than £35,000 in any one institution you might consider moving some of it to another one.

Will my mortgage become more expensive?
Most likely yes, if you are looking for a new deal.

The cost to banks of borrowing and lending money between themselves has risen again, driving up the cost to banks of funding and offering new fixed-rate and other mortgage deals.

Libor, or the London Interbank Offered Rate, is the rate at which banks lend money to each other, and the three-month rate has reached its highest level since December, rising well above 6%.

Three major lenders have raised some of their mortgage rates – HSBC, Woolwich and First Direct – and other lenders are reviewing their deals.

The takeover by Lloyds TSB of HBOS will also reduce competition among mortgage lenders, tending to make it easier for the remaining lenders to charge that bit more for their loans – or offer less interest on bank accounts.

So mortgages are likely to be set higher above the Bank of England’s base rate than was the case before.

The Bank of England has said the rate of inflation would soon hit 5%, before falling back. Once it is convinced this is about to happen it may well cut rates to help stimulate the economy and overcome the impending economic recession.

So in due course mortgages should become cheaper; but not just yet.

Will this financial crisis make the economy worse?
Let us assume that no more banks get into trouble and that things stabilise.

Even then, the downturn is likely to be worse than would have been the case just a few weeks ago.

Banks and the money they lend are essential to the normal functioning of the economy.

If they have less money to lend, or do so on much more expensive terms, this will inevitably restrain economic activity, just as if the Bank of England had jacked up its bank rate.

Is my job more precarious than before?
Potentially – and not just for bank employees and others in the financial sector.

In more normal times, the big economic news this month would probably have been the further rise in unemployment.

Let us remember what that story is. Unemployment is now at its highest level for nine years at a rate of 5.5%.

Redundancies have been accelerating and the number of vacancies, and those actually in work, is dropping.

Sadly the trend in unemployment is firmly upwards and will probably continue until the economy starts to pick up again.

Source : BBC

Marc Faber comment on US economy

Investment analyst and entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

”The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs.
If we buy a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I’ve been doing my part.’

Source : Based on a forward received.

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