Be Good & Do Good!
Many times, people say that the women species talk too much…
But there’s no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE 🙂
Example…
When the women say:
“This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
You will be without clothes
If you don´t wash them now!!!”
…..
……..
…….
The MALE EAR only understands:
Bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
Bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
Bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
Bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
વિચારà«àª¯à« કે થૈશ હૠપન àªàª• દિ ધનવાન
વિચારà«àª¯à« કે થશે કà«àª¦àª°àª¤ પન મારા પર મહેરબાન
જોઇતા નથિ મારે બનà«àª—લા અને ગાડી
બસ જોઇય ચે તોહ àªàª• સà«àª¨à«àª¦àª° લાડી
કલà«àªªàª¨àª¾ જેનિ મે ચે કરિ
નામ જપૠચૠબસ તારૠહરિ
મલિ જાયે મને માર માન નિ મિત
સà«àª–, શાનà«àª¤àª¿ અને સમà«àªªàª¾àª¤àª¿ સહિત
આનà«àª–à«‹ વડિ વડિ ને જà«àªµà«‡ ચે શેરિયોન રાસà«àª¤àª¾
કà«àª¯àª¾àª• àªàªŸàª•àª¿ જાવો તમે અમસà«àª¤àª¾,
કોક દિ તોહ આહ દિલ નિ પà«àª•àª¾àª° રનà«àª— લાવશે,
અને કોક દિ જરà«àª° મારિ ચાહ મારિ સામે આવશે
Sometimes we must be Hurt in order to Grow,
Sometimes we must Fail in order to Know ,
Sometimes we must Lose in order to Gain ,
Because some lessons in life are best learned through P A I N….
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why ?
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
Next.Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
Because the elephant is made of plastic.Hahhaa.never give up.one more..
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it. Why ?
Because the bananas are in the TV.Ooops!!! Cool down.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
Because they are on different channels.Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
Cmon think ..
Because the TV is off. Kikikikikiki J
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
why the hell do u think so much…let that poor animal have some food….n u get back to your work 😀 …heheheh !!!!!!!!
Azim Premji, CEO- Wipro
Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great.. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office, and the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb food.
Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. “My learning curve is the sharpest it’s ever been,” he said soon after he joined.
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave?
Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called “First Break All The Rules”. It came up with this surprising finding:
If you’re losing good people, look to their immediate boss ..Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he ‘s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge, experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.
” People leave managers not companies,” write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
Mostly manager drives people away?
HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave, but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.
When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: “If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don’t have your heart and soul in the job.”
Different managers can stress out employees in different ways – by being too controlling, too suspicious, too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit – often over a trivial issue.
Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn’t.
Ack:- Nandan kelkar
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fukat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayenge apple
L for lena padhega tumko ye apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar Ke khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehatmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaari k nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaao jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii khane padenge apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zyada pakau laga ho yeh sab toh, kha lena ek aur apple
Ack:- Parth BarotÂ
May the day give you
Independence of JAVA
Power of UNIX
Popularity of WINDOWS
Luxury of .NET
Efficiency of C
Ease of VB
Robustness of ORACLE
Vision of PHOTOSHOP
Vastness of INTERNET
Compactness of JPG
Richness of BMP
Coverage as YAHOO
Reach ness of GOOGLE &
Security of NORTON!!!
Ack:- Rashmi NairÂ
1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder…louder…louder!
7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
8. If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…………”
9. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. – and give him the ICICI call center number.
Ack:- Rashmi Nair
1.What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip
2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards .
3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
4. What is height of Laziness? (Classy One)
Adopting a child.
5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder
Ack :- Parth Barot
Mr.Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby. The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”
The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma ?
Yes…… speaking
AEC guy, You’re a month overdue, you know!
How do YOU know? stammers the young woman.
Well, ma’am, it’s in our files! says the AEC guy
What are you saying? It’s in your files …… HOW ?????
Yes ………… We have a system of finding out who’s overdue
GOD !!!!!!……… this is too much……….
Madam, I am sorry…… I am following orders…. I have to inform you are overdue
I know that …… let me talk to my husband about this tonight. …….he will speak to your company tomorrow
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “it’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.
PAY you? and if I refuse?
Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.
And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.
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