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Dog Watch
Guest: “Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?”
Hotel Host: “I can’t imagine, unless it’s because you have the plate he usually eats from.”
The Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses’ wife instead: “I’m afraid he died last week.” she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. “I told you” the wife replies, “he died last week.”
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
“I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?”
“Coz . . .” he replied laughing, “I just love hearing it. . . .”
Time
SURD: “Excuse me sir, what time is it?”
MAN: “It’s 3:15.”
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different
answer.”
The Burnt Ears
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.
He said: “I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear.”
The man asked “So what happened to your other ear?”
He said “That same stupid guy called again”
What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
His father congratulated him. And then he said “That’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”
Hotel Ka Khana
Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Bhai sahab kahan tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.
2 Pagal
Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhara aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari. Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.
Clever
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon…
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
time when we don’t need it.
Germs
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
Disney Password
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long.
“Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”
Do you know what is family?
Do you really understand what is behind the word family?
It gives me a shock when I know the answer.
So long I never realize I don’t know the real
Meaning of family……….
Here Is The Answer ………. FAMILY =
(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:
(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND? because:
(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding
Do you know that a simple “HELLO” can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).
The word HELLO means :
(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you ..
Being prepared is half the battle.
If you are one of those executive types unhappy at your present post and embarking on a New Year’s resolution to find a new one, here’s a helping hand. The job interview is considered to be the most critical aspect of every expedition that brings you face-to- face with the future boss. One must prepare for it with the same tenacity and quickness as one does for a fencing tournament or a chess match.
Team India wins, sounds of silence rent with cheers
As the mainstream version of the game is recently making headlines for the wrong reasons as controversy after controversy unfolds, these young boys have given the country a reason to be proud of.
India’s victory in the second edition of the Deaf Cricket World Cup at the K D Singh Babu Stadium in Lucknow on Sunday, beating England comprehensively by 79 runs, was a cause for cheer and joy for Gujarat cricket lovers as six of the final squad of 15, and three in the playing 11 belonged to the state.
News :~
World Bank team to visit Bihar
Indian American wins astronomy prize for clocking pulsars
Sports : ~
Michaella takes out Sania in Australian Open
Pierce becomes highest seed knocked out of Open
Asian challengers fade quickly at Australian Open
Technology :~
Oracle says Fusion package on track for 2008
Buisness :~
L&T Q3 net nearly doubles, orders jump
Click on this link n follow d steps
Its a MagicSlate its spk wht ur heart wants to speak
VISITORS to a web page will work out whether or not they like it in 50 milliseconds, according to new research.
According to Nature.com, boffins at Carleton University in Ottawa tested web page visitors to see how users made snap decisions about web page quality.
Gitte Lindgaard, who did the research, was surprised that the brain was making flash judgements about web pages almost as fast as the eye was taking in the information.
The research which was published in the journal Behaviour and Information Technology found that impressions were made in the first 50 milliseconds of viewing.
Volunteers were presented volunteers with the briefest glimpses of web pages previously rated as being either easy on the eye or particularly jarring, and asked them to rate the websites on a sliding scale of visual appeal.
The volunteers were able to spot the nice looking web pages from the rougher ones even though the images flashed up for only 50 milliseconds.
Do you know the specialty of this year?
It starts with Sunday and ends with Sunday.
No public holidays on Sundays.
This year has got maximum number of Sundays and Saturdays.
So enjoy the least working year in your life!
2006 A year with a difference!
Ack:~ Kuldip Bhatt
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