Tag: Forwards (Page 16 of 48)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

સપનામાં તો બધા જીવે છે,
વસ્તવિકતમાં કોણ રહે છે ?

સંબંધ બાંધવા માટે વર્ષો વિતાવે,
પણ તોડતાં સમયે ક્યાં વિચારે છે!

બધાનો પ્રેમ તો બધા ચાહે છે,
પણ આપવામાં કોણ માને છે !

વાયદા કરવામાં તો બધા માહિર છે,
નિભાવવા માટે કોણ તૈયાર થાય છે !

વાતો થશે જીવવાની અને રીતોની,
પણ ખરેખર અહીં કોણ આવું જીવે છે!

આતો દેખાડાની દુનિયા છે,
સાચા પ્રેમની કોને જરૂર છે !

હું તો બધા માટે જીવાનો પ્રયત્ન કરું છું,
અહીં આવા મણસોની ક્યાંય જરૂર નથી !

1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!
2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven’t slept for years…
3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon…
4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what ‘foreign land’ is called] are the ones that would be used by ‘default’…
5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…
6. “Wazzzup”, “Hows life?”, are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by “how’s work?”
7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…
8. They don’t send or take things… they always forward them!
9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…
10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is “I wish there was a Google search for my room”.
11. Mondays are always blue…
12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…

One day Kuttappan’s dad bought a robot.

The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, ” Son why are you late from school?”.

Kuttappan answered, “Dad we had extra classes today”.

Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.

His dad told him Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, ” Why are you late?”

“Dad I went for a movie”, ” Which movie?” “The Ten Commandments”, Splatt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

” No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen.” Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things.”

Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Kuttappans mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, “Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?” (After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan’s mother’s face.

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.”
One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” Clinton says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved… that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains Clinton. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.

“What?” asks Clinton, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy.”

“Wonderful!” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would not be a great loss!”

एक वीशेष सूचना ………. अगर आप बस, रेल या कही से भी आ जा रहे हो और किसी लडकी के हाथ मे फूल, धागा, चैन या ऐसी ही कोई चमकती वस्तू नज़र आये तो आप तुरन्त वहा से दूर हो जाये। ये चमकती वस्तु ऱाखी भी हो सक्ती है. आपकी थोडी सी लापरवाही आपको भाई बना सक्ती है।

पुरुष हित् मे जारी

Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend’s apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend’s and none of them confirm that.

Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!

John received a free ticket to the international match, happening in his town. Unfortunately. John’s seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium.

He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there.

The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a match like this and asks why in the world no one is using it?

The man replied that it was his wife’s seat but she passed away. He said this was the first match that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968.

John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn’t find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat? “No” replied the man, “They’re at her funeral!”

Really salute to this guy’s love for sport

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder.

She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds.

She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don’t eat the almonds themselves,whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.

“Why do you buy them then?” he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, “We just love the chocolate around them.”