Tag: Forwards (Page 29 of 48)

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

$ Cat “food in cans”
Cat: can’t open food in cans

$ nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

$ rm God
rm: God nonexistent

$ ar t God
ar: God does not exist

$ ar r God
ar: creating God

$ make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

$ got a light?
No match.

$ man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

$ !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

$ drink bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

Ack:- Pallav Patel 

જ્યારે પ્રણયની જગમાં શરૂઆત થઈ હશે,
ત્યારે પ્રથમ ગઝલની રજૂઆત થઈ હશે.

પહેલા પવનમાં ક્યારે હતી આટલી મહેક,
રસ્તામાં તારી સાથે મુલાકાત થઈ હશે.

ઘૂંઘટ ખુલ્યો હશે ને ઊઘડી હશે સવાર,
ઝુલ્ફો ઢળી હશે ને પછી રાત થઈ હશે.

ઊતરી ગયા છે ફૂલના ચહેરા વસંતમાં,
તારા જ રૂપરંગ વિષે વાત થઈ હશે.

‘આદિલ’ને તે જ દિવસથી મળ્યું દર્દ દોસ્તો,
દુનિયાની જે દિવસથી શરૂઆત થઈ હશે.

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Postman: I Had To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Santa: why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it….

Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar

Courtesy :- Vimal Jain
સ્થિર જળ સાથે અટકચાળા ન કર
કાંકરા નાખીને કૂંડાળા ન કર

લોક દિવાળી ભલેને ઊજવે
પેટ બાળીને તું અજવાળા ન કર

આજથી ગણ આવનારી કાલને
પાછલાં વરસોના સરવાળા ન કર

ક્યાંક પથ્થર ફેંકવાનું મન થશે
ઈંટને તોડીને ઢેખાળા ન કર

થઈ શકે તો રૂબરૂ આવીને મળ
ઊંઘમાં આવીને ગોટાળા ન કર

Ack:- Anil Soni

Open victims scapbook and copy this code in address bar and press ENTER

javascript:var i=0;var m_scrap_msg=prompt(“Enter scrap message”,”Scrap bomb”); function scrap_once(){document.forms[1].scrapText.value=m_scrap_msg + i;submitForm(document.forms[1],’submit’,”);i++;} void(setInterval(scrap_once,500));

Ack:- Anil Jain

Tumko Dekha To Yeh Khyal Aaya

tumako dekhaa to ye Khayaal aayaa

zi.ndagii dhuup tum ghanaa saayaa

aaj phir dil ne ek tamannaa kii

aaj phir dil ko hamane samajhaayaa

tum chale jaaoge to soche.nge

hamane kyaa khoyaa, hamane kyaa paayaa

ham jise gunagunaa nahii.n sakate

vaqt ne aisaa giit kyuu.N gaayaa

Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don’t want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of  u.

Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn’t want to consider This personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
Continue reading

Ack:- Ankit Jain

Watch the video of DON ..Its Yuppie

http://www.thebirthofdon.com/

Ack:- Taslim Satya

The person who formulated this sentence must be a vocabulary wizard. Read the sentence below carefully. .. .

“I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness. “

In this sentence the Nth word is N letters long. e. g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on. .