Tag: Forwards (Page 37 of 48)

8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get
The Degree finally we get is B.E. – That is Brain Empty (B.E) (And then they recruit us !!)

Two men an Indian and an American, met at a bus stop and started a conversation.

The Indian kept complaining of family problems. Finally the American said:

“You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.

A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married and I got myself a step-daughter.

Later, my father married my step-daughter. That made my step daughter my step-mother. And my father became my step-son. Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

Much later the daughter of my wife, my step-mother, had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my Wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half brother.

This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my step-mother, is also his grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father’s wife.

I am my step-mother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRAND FATHER!!!!!!!!!!

And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS ???? George

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, “Gandi was a great man, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi.

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, ” You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!! – Awesome an IAS sort of answer

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, “how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250. “$250”, the man said. “Well what does he do? “He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. “He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters.”

The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, “$1,000.” Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird’s specialty was.

The clerk replies, “Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything. But the other two call him ” Project Manager ”

Ack:- Gayatree Nalawad

1. The program *KANK* has not been built as per the Functionality Design Specifications (script).

2. The director should have first created a proper Design Document (screenplay) and then begun the actual coding.

3. *AmitabhBachchan* is a powerful class with a number of methods and functions but it has not been effectively used.

4. *AbhishekBachchan,* a derived class of *AmitabhBachchan*, inherits all the attributes and properties of its parent class.

5. *ShahRukhKhan* and *RaniMukherjee* are emotionally overloaded and go into an infinite weeping loop every 60 milliseconds.

6. The methods such as *Songs()* and *Cinematography()* have been properly executed and produce fantastic results.

7. *PreityZinta* is an abstract class, which looks pretty but actually does nothing.

8. Functions like *ArjunRampal, JA, and KD* pass NULL values and are redundant.

9. The program takes an unbearably long time to terminate? about 3 hours and 20 minutes.

10. In User Acceptance Testing, too many defects were found.

Overall, the package is not worth purchasing. You may opt for pirated copies, though.

Ack:- Anand U singh

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga…
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..
Magar Mujhe Kaam Tha……
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta…
Magar Mujhe Zukham Tha !

Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!

Ack : – Gopikrishna Parchuri

A conference is a gathering of important people who individually can’t do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Ack : – Shama Patel

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.