Tag: Forwards (Page 38 of 48)

Ack:- Sagar Shah

1… God won’t ask what kind of car you drove;
He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

2… God won’t ask the square footage of your house,
He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3… God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet,
He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4… God won’t ask what your highest salary was,
He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5… God won’t ask what your job title was,
He’ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6… God won’t ask how many friends you had,
He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7… God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived,
He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8… God won’t ask about the color of your skin,
He’ll ask about the content of your character.

9… God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,
He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10… God won’t ask how many people you forwarded this to,
He’ll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

Read Carefully
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.

“Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Little Johnny.
“Nope.” replied Jimmy.
“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”.
Again Jimmy says “Nope.”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?” asks Little Johnny.
“No,” said Jimmy.
“I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty’.

Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch.
He vowed to get one for himself.
That night, he waited outside his parents’ bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.

His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily.
“What do you want now?”
“I wanna watch,” Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, “Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.”

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.

Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day — the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.He says ” I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die”. Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says ” If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die “Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says ” Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor”

Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch.
Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu’s widow says ” I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch “The Bengali’s widow says ” I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch” The sardarji’s widow says ” I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch….!!!

In a recent marketing campaign in Vancouver, 3M sought a strong image for their security glass.

They modified a bus shelter and fitted their security glass and filled it with REAL BANKNOTES. Many have tried to gain access with golf clubs and baseball bats but obviously the glass remains intact! This is what you call having faith in your own product…

How many of you would do that????

Posham pa bhai posham pa
sau(100) rupay ki ghadi churayi
ab to jail mein jana padega
jail ki roti khana padega
jail ka pani peena padega
thayi thuiya thush
madari baba fushhhhhh….

Machhali Jal ki Rani hai
Jeewan uska paani hai
hath lagao darr jayegi
bahar nikalo mar jayegi…

Jhooth bolna paap hai
nadi kinare saanp hai
kali mai aayegi
tumko utha le jayegi…

India is the 125th happiest country in the world, a world map of happiness prepared by a British scientist claimed on Friday.

Denmark is the happiest country in the world and Burundi in Africa is the unhappy as per the map produced by Adrian White, Analytic Social Psychologist at the University of Leicester.

According to the study, happiness is found to be most closely associated with health, followed by wealth and education. China is happier than India with an 82nd position while Japan is placed at 90.

“We were surprised to see countries in Asia scoring so low, with China 82nd, Japan 90th and India 125th. These are countries that are thought as having a strong sense of collective identity which other researchers have associated with well-being,” a University of Leicester release said.

“It is also notable that many of the largest countries in terms of population do quite badly. With China 82nd, India 125th and Russia 167th it is interesting to note that larger populations are not associated with happy countries,” it said.

Switzerland, Austria and Iceland follow Denmark in the Map of happiness. It places United States at 23, UK at 41 and France at 62.

The study is based on data from 178 countries and on the findings of over 100 different studies around the world, which questioned 80,000 people. Participants were asked questions related to happiness and satisfaction with life.

Do you hate getting phone calls from telemarketers as much as I do? Well, here are some ways to get your revenge!

1.After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder…louder…louder!

7.Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8.If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…”

9.Catch them off guard by saying in a husky voice, “What are you wearing?”

10. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really male.

Take a look at beauty of mathematics……

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111