Monthly Archives: November 2007

Tears …

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

” What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room.
“Why are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee,
“Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?” he asks solemnly.
“Yes I do” she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?”
“Yes! I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.
“Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said,
‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?”
“I remember that too” she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,

“I would have been released today!”

Mathematician @ Its Best

As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are placed in separate rooms and left with a can of food, but no can opener.
A day later, the rooms are opened, one-by-one.
In the first room, the engineer is snoring, with a battered, opened and emptied can. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he beat the can to its failure point.
In the second room, the physicist is seen mouthing equations, with a can popped open beside him. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he examined the stress points of the can, applied pressure, and “pop!”
In the third room, the mathematician is found sweating, and mumbling to himself, “Assume the can is open, assume the can is open…”

College vs Corporate Life

Parents used to give us Rs. 20/- per month,
in that we were not only able to eat stomachs fill, but we were able to save too!!!
Now we earn a sum of 20K, we have no idea where it goes, let alone saving it!!
Which’s better, the former or the latter???

6 subjects per year, 6 different teachers!
One project since we joined and just one manager!!
Which’s better, the former or the latter???

We used to make notes; we used to study for ranks!!
Now we scan thru our mails; we struggle for our ratings!!!
Which’s better, the former or the latter???

We have still not forgotten the people in the next section!!!
Now we don’t even know who sits in the next cubicle!!!
Which’s better, the former or the latter???

After getting back from a tiring play, we used to do our home work!!
Now who knows/cares about home; all we do is just work!!!
Which’s better, the former or the latter???

We knew our history and economics!!
Now let alone reading books, we don’t even catch up with the daily news!!!
Which’s better, the former or the latter???

We had an aim in life; behind our backs we had our teachers!!
Now we have no idea about the future nor do we find any one who would tell us anything!!!

So Which’s better, the former or the latter???

Sweets At My Desk

Subha Utha , Nahaya …Mast Deo Lagaya…
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya…

Muskurahat Ka Karan Tha , Kya Sapna Liya Tha Raat Ko
Main Company Ka Ceo Aur My Dream Girl Was My Pmo.

Mann To Kiyan So Jaon, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun…
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain Office Mein, Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun…

Goggles Lagaya Style Mein, Sutta Niptaya,
Bike Kiya Self Start, Accelerater Maara

Pahooncha Office…Card Swipe Kara..
Khola Pc ….Lotus Notes Top Par Mail Uska Paaya…

Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya..
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..

Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ..Not Again..Same Words…”Sweets At My Desk”

Darte Darte Khola Mail…Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya…
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya…Mandraya Kala Saaya…

Dukhi Mann Se Socha ….Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padd Le..
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka…Details Se Rubaru To Ho Le…

Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya…Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya..
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya…Dil Ko Ncr Report Acha Aaya…

Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli..
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli…

Bhujti Hui Low Phir Phadphadai…
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee.

Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Aur…
Ab Sirf Uskee Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More..

Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko..
Dekhte Hee Usne Bola …Lo Dear, Sweets Lo..

Humne Suna “Dear” , Humne Kaha Ab No Fear.
Kiya Jhuki Aankhon Se Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweats Ka Apna Share..

“Dear” Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha….
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka Loc Ab Mitne Laga Tha…

Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se Chida Kargil Tha..

Phir Se Low Bhuj Gayee Thi, Umeed Mit Gayee Thi …
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi…

Maa Kasam Ek Hi Gaana Yaad Aa Raha Tha Cham Se…
Kasam Ki Kasam , Yeh Pyaar Na Hoga Ab Humse…

O Haseeno Sun Lo Meri Iltaaja,
Please Mat Hona Humse Khafa,
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaaye Ab Na Hoga Adjust,
Ab Mat Daalna Mail With Subject “Sweets At My Desk”

Oracle’s Real-Life Q & A

Q. What if your Dad loses his car keys?
A. ‘Parent keys not found!’

Q. What if your old girl friend spots you with your new one?
A. ‘Duplicate value on index!’

Q. What if the golf ball doesn’t get into the hole at all?
A. ‘Value larger than specified precision!’

Q. What if you try to have fun with somebody else’s girlfriend and get kicked out?
A. ‘Insufficient privileges on the specified object!’

Q. What if you don’t get any response from the girl next door?
A. ‘No data found!’ or ‘ Query caused no rows retrieved !’

Q. What if you get response from the girl next door and her Mom too?
A. ‘SELECT INTO returns too many rows!’

Q. What if you dial a wrong number?
A. ‘Invalid number’ or ‘ Object doesn’t exist!’

Q. What if you try to beat your own trumpet?
A. ‘Object is found mutating!’

Q. What if you are too late to office and the boss catches you?
A. ‘Discrete transaction failed!’

Q. What if you see ‘theatre full’ when you go to a movie?
A. ‘Maximum number of users exceeded!’

Q. What if you don’t get table in the lunch room?
A. ‘System out of tablespace!’

Gem of an Article – Passion is all that you need

It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and
gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my
postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies’ hostel. Other girls
were pursuing research in different departments of Science.

I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a doctorate in computer
science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in the US. I
had not thought of taking up a job in India.

One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I
saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard
job-requirement notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now Tata
Motors). It stated that the company required young, bright engineers,
hardworking and with an excellent academic background, etc.

At the bottom was a small line: “Lady candidates need not apply.”

I read it and was very upset. For the first time in my life I was up
against gender discrimination.

Read More in Comments Section

Letter to God

Letter 1

Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,

Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2

Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,

Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3

Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4

God,
I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,

Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Bobby’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby’s mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God

Letter 5

God,
I’VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE
K2

FoxClock – Firefox Extension

FoxClocks is an extension for Firefox, Thunderbird and Sunbird that lets you keep an eye on the time around the world – or just your local time – by putting small clocks in your statusbar. Choose from a set of useful standard time formats or create your own – custom formats are easy to create and very flexible.

You can set each clock’s colour, or even have a clock change colour during certain hours (perhaps green when it’s a good time to Skype your friends in Japan). Too much stuff in your statusbar? Move your clocks to a toolbar, or switch to ‘icon’ mode and hover over the FoxClocks icon to see your clocks.

FoxClocks’ Zone Picker tree lets you browse virtually all the world’s time zones by country, region or city. Enable automatic database updates and you’ll always have the right time.

If you have Google Earth, FoxClocks can take you to any location in its database: don’t know where Budapest is? Right-click on it and choose ‘Google Earth…’.

FoxClocks is available in English (British and US), Belarusian, Danish, Dutch, French, German, Italian, Korean, Mongolian, Polish, Russian, Slovak, Spanish and Ukrainian.

Download Extension @ Mozilla.org

Tax Structure …

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans.: From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX

8] Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!

9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 50,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

10) Qus. : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

11) Qus. : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

12) Qus. : Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

13) Qus. : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

14) Qus. : Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

15) Qus. : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

16) Qus. : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

17) Qus. : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

18) Qus. : Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL
THE CENTRAL GOVT.’s TAX !!!

19) Qus. : Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

Parent Style

After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Gujrati man in Bombay calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery is enough!”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??” and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says,”It’s all set. They’re both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!”