A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, “how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250. “$250”, the man said. “Well what does he do? “He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. “He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters.”

The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, “$1,000.” Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird’s specialty was.

The clerk replies, “Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything. But the other two call him ” Project Manager ”

Ack:- Gayatree Nalawad

1. The program *KANK* has not been built as per the Functionality Design Specifications (script).

2. The director should have first created a proper Design Document (screenplay) and then begun the actual coding.

3. *AmitabhBachchan* is a powerful class with a number of methods and functions but it has not been effectively used.

4. *AbhishekBachchan,* a derived class of *AmitabhBachchan*, inherits all the attributes and properties of its parent class.

5. *ShahRukhKhan* and *RaniMukherjee* are emotionally overloaded and go into an infinite weeping loop every 60 milliseconds.

6. The methods such as *Songs()* and *Cinematography()* have been properly executed and produce fantastic results.

7. *PreityZinta* is an abstract class, which looks pretty but actually does nothing.

8. Functions like *ArjunRampal, JA, and KD* pass NULL values and are redundant.

9. The program takes an unbearably long time to terminate? about 3 hours and 20 minutes.

10. In User Acceptance Testing, too many defects were found.

Overall, the package is not worth purchasing. You may opt for pirated copies, though.

Ack:- Anand U singh

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga…
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..
Magar Mujhe Kaam Tha……
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta…
Magar Mujhe Zukham Tha !

Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!

Ack : – Gopikrishna Parchuri

A conference is a gathering of important people who individually can’t do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Ack : – Shama Patel

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Ack:- Sagar Shah

1… God won’t ask what kind of car you drove;
He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

2… God won’t ask the square footage of your house,
He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3… God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet,
He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4… God won’t ask what your highest salary was,
He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5… God won’t ask what your job title was,
He’ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6… God won’t ask how many friends you had,
He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7… God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived,
He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8… God won’t ask about the color of your skin,
He’ll ask about the content of your character.

9… God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,
He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10… God won’t ask how many people you forwarded this to,
He’ll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

Read Carefully
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.

“Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Little Johnny.
“Nope.” replied Jimmy.
“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”.
Again Jimmy says “Nope.”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?” asks Little Johnny.
“No,” said Jimmy.
“I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty’.

Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch.
He vowed to get one for himself.
That night, he waited outside his parents’ bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.

His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily.
“What do you want now?”
“I wanna watch,” Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, “Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.”