Ack:- Rashmi Nair 

1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder…louder…louder!
7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
8. If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…………”
9. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. – and give him the ICICI call center number.

Ack:- Rashmi Nair

1.What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards .

3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Laziness? (Classy One)
Adopting a child.

5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder

Ack :- Parth Barot

Mr.Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby. The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”

The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma ?
Yes…… speaking
AEC guy, You’re a month overdue, you know!
How do YOU know? stammers the young woman.
Well, ma’am, it’s in our files! says the AEC guy
What are you saying? It’s in your files …… HOW ?????
Yes ………… We have a system of finding out who’s overdue
GOD !!!!!!……… this is too much……….
Madam, I am sorry…… I am following orders…. I have to inform you are overdue
I know that …… let me talk to my husband about this tonight. …….he will speak to your company tomorrow

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “it’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.
PAY you? and if I refuse?
Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.
And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.

Ack:- Sunil & Hrishikesh