Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend’s apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend’s and none of them confirm that.

Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!

John received a free ticket to the international match, happening in his town. Unfortunately. John’s seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium.

He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there.

The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a match like this and asks why in the world no one is using it?

The man replied that it was his wife’s seat but she passed away. He said this was the first match that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968.

John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn’t find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat? “No” replied the man, “They’re at her funeral!”

Really salute to this guy’s love for sport

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder.

She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds.

She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don’t eat the almonds themselves,whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.

“Why do you buy them then?” he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, “We just love the chocolate around them.”

Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya,
tijori par likha tha “TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURAT NAHI,
452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAAL BUTTON DABAO,
TIJORI KHUL JAYEGI”
Jaise hi button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi.
Jate waqt chor seth se bola

“AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA “! . . . . .

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50.” The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !!

Welcome to the Market!

Universal law:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First law:
A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.

Second law:
The rate of change of intensity of love of a boy towards a gal is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the gal and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.

Third law:
The force applied while proposing a gal by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

Tom, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Tom and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Tom says, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blond replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Tom placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blond was very upset and handed her $20 to Tom, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Tom replied, “I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o’clock news and so I knew he would jump.”

The blond replies, “I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Tom took the money