Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

*********

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn’t come back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else?

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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.

************

Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

************

Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

************

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

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Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to Punjab ,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.

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Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki jagah pizza
hut kyun leja raha hai………
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein ‘Delivery Free’ hai..

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Sardarji aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?
Sardarji: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gaya aur mene kaha madam jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai…..

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A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab…
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

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Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

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American says: ‘ US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..’
Sardarji says: ‘ India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!’

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Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

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Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.

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2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

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A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney.

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Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone
& saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was
going & I sent my wife with him