Ye Meri Life Hai - Chirag Mehta

Be Good & Do Good!

Category: Forwards (page 14 of 48)

Good forwards

Now-a-Days.. Who will be most worried in Pak

આજકાલ પાકિસ્તાન માં સૌથી વધુ ચિંતાતુર કોણ હશે?

મિયાં મુશર્રફ ?

ના…….

ચીફ જસ્ટિસ ચૌધરી ?

જી ના !!!!!!!

તો કોણ?

જનરલ પરવેઝ મુશર્રફ નાં બીબી શેહબા મુશર્રફ ને……

…….કારણ કે

……દુબઇ-લંડન માં બેઠેલી રૂપાળી નેતા બેગમ બેનઝીર ભુટ્ટો જિદ્દે ચઢી છે, એ વારંવાર કહી રહી છે કે મારે તો મુશર્રફ ને જોવા છે લશ્કરી યુનિફોર્મ વગર !!!!!!!!!!

Message to Cricket Indian Team

40 over,40 over hai tumhare pass, shayad tumhare zindagi ke khass 40 over, aaj tum aaccha khelo ya bura yeh 40 over tumhe zindagi bhar yaad rahenge, toh aaj kaise khelna hai yeh mai tumhe nahi bataunga, buss itna kahunga ki jao aur yeh 40 over jee bhar ke khelo, kyunki iske baad aane wale zindagi mai chahe kuch sahi ho ya na ho, chahe kuch rahe ya na rahe,tum haro ya jeeto, lekin yeh 40 over tumse koi nahi chinn sakta, koi nahi!! Toh maine socha ki iss match mai kaise khelna hai yeh aaj main tumhe nahi bataunga balki tum mujhe batoge, khelkar, kyunki mai janta hu ki yeh 40 over iss team ka harr player apne zindagi ki sabse badiya cricket khel gaya, toh yeh 40 over khuda bhi tumse vapas mang nahi sakta. Toh jao, jao aur apne aap se, iss jindagi se, apne khuda se aur harr uss insaan se jisne tumpe bharosa kia hai, apne 40 over chinno………………………..

CHAK DE INDIA….

ALL THE BEST!!!!!

The woman in your life … Very well expressed

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry with these facts as well.
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven’t,as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements ;

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life ;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen ;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to;
and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her;
and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding,
or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those,who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t,simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise ;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this…

Rajnikanth’s Arena … Amazing things about him

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant
turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai

Priest Never Lies

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest sitting next to her, “Father, may I ask you for a favour?” “Of course. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs’ limit.And I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Could you carry it through the Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, my dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will ever question you.” When they got to the Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The Customs officer asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The officer thought this answer rather strange, so he continued to ask, “And what do you have to declare from your waist down to the floor?”

“I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father – “Next!”

Smart Indians @ Microsoft

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun Mhatre an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?’ So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’ So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘ I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but
what do I have to lose?’ So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says ‘Kaisa hai re tu’
The other candidate answers ‘Accha hai re’

Neither legal, Nor logical

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam. ”

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.

Team Member vs Project Manager

Once a smart S/W engineer and his PM were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma. With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping. Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that,” The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy…”

PM thought that,” I can’t believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake”
That girl thought that,” I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him”.
Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?
“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes…because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM………

Innocence @ Its Best

A little boy wanted Rs.500 very badly and prayed for weeks, But nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs.500 .
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to ” God , India”,they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a JOKE.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200.

The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:

“Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.300 as taxes!”

Pleasing the boss

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a seriesof jokes he’d heard recently.

Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, thatis except Mike.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said,

“What’s the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?”

“My sense of humor is fine,” he said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m quitting tomorrow.”

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