Poultry farm ke malik ne tammaam Murgiyon ko Order diya “Agar tum logon ne kal se Do–Do ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band”
Sab ne dar ke maare do-do ande diye.
Magar ek ne sirf ek hi anda diya.
Malik “Tumne 1 hi anda kyon diya? ”
Jawab mila…
“Sir ye toh aapke dar ki wajah se diya hai. Waise main to Murga hoon”……..
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper.
The first guy said, ”Hey, I’ll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!”
Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ”YOU’RE ON!”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ”WOW,” screamed the 2nd guy, ”That was incredible. Do it again!”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ”That is remarkable. Do it one more time!’
”Ok,” said the first guy, ”But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it.’
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ”Your turn,” he said.
So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ”This is easy. He did it, so can I!’
The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer.
The bartender remarked, ”You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman!”’
1) I hated sleep.
2) I had enjoyed my life enough.
3) I couldn’t live without tension.
4) I wanted to pay for my sins.
5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : karm karo , phal ki ichha na karo..
6) Everything in life has a reason; I wanted to prove it wrong.
7) I wanted to take revenge on myself .
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”
Time Table Search for Mumbai Local Train
-Thane-Vashi Track Time Table
-Suburban Rail Map
The link is http://www.sindhunagar.com/railway.php
સપનામાં તો બધા જીવે છે,
વસà«àª¤àªµàª¿àª•àª¤àª®àª¾àª‚ કોણ રહે છે ?
સંબંધ બાંધવા માટે વરà«àª·à«‹ વિતાવે,
પણ તોડતાં સમયે કà«àª¯àª¾àª‚ વિચારે છે!
બધાનો પà«àª°à«‡àª® તો બધા ચાહે છે,
પણ આપવામાં કોણ માને છે !
વાયદા કરવામાં તો બધા માહિર છે,
નિàªàª¾àªµàªµàª¾ માટે કોણ તૈયાર થાય છે !
વાતો થશે જીવવાની અને રીતોની,
પણ ખરેખર અહીં કોણ આવà«àª‚ જીવે છે!
આતો દેખાડાની દà«àª¨àª¿àª¯àª¾ છે,
સાચા પà«àª°à«‡àª®àª¨à«€ કોને જરૂર છે !
હà«àª‚ તો બધા માટે જીવાનો પà«àª°àª¯àª¤à«àª¨ કરà«àª‚ છà«àª‚,
અહીં આવા મણસોની કà«àª¯àª¾àª‚ય જરૂર નથી !
1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!
2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven’t slept for years…
3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon…
4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what ‘foreign land’ is called] are the ones that would be used by ‘default’…
5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…
6. “Wazzzupâ€, “Hows life?â€, are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by “how’s work?â€
7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…
8. They don’t send or take things… they always forward them!
9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…
10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is “I wish there was a Google search for my roomâ€.
11. Mondays are always blue…
12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…
One day Kuttappan’s dad bought a robot.
The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, ” Son why are you late from school?”.
Kuttappan answered, “Dad we had extra classes today”.
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.
His dad told him Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, ” Why are you late?”
“Dad I went for a movie”, ” Which movie?” “The Ten Commandments”, Splatt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
” No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen.” Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things.”
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Kuttappans mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, “Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?” (After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan’s mother’s face.
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.”
One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” Clinton says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved… that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains Clinton. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
“What?” asks Clinton, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy.”
“Wonderful!” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would not be a great loss!”
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