Ack:- Jay Purohit

Dress-maa tame sara lago chho,
Punjabi maa tame pyara lago chho;
Sari-ma koi-di tamne joya nathi,
Maate tame Kunwara lago chho.

Jivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi

Dil naa dardo ne pinaro shu jane,
prem naa rivajo ne jamano shu jane;
Chhe ketli taklif kabar maa,
Te uparthi phool muknaro shu jane!

Zindagi ne jiv-vani Filsufi samji lidhi,
Je khushi aavi jivan ma,
aakhri samji lidhi!

Shu karu fariyaad tari,
Fariyaad ma yaad chhe Fari fari ne yaad tari,
Ej mari fariyaad chhe!

Tu hase chhe jyare jyare,
tyare tyare tara gaal ma khada pade chhe.
Hu vicharu chhu betho betho,
ke mara sivay aa khada-ma ketla pade chhe!

Doobta jeevan na tame swaas chho,
kahu kem ke tame kaik ‘khaas’ chho.

Tame phool nahi pan jamin par ugta ghaas chho,
sachu kahu, tame ek moto Traas chho.

Loko kahe-chhe ke – Hasya tena ghar vasya!
Parantu e kon jane chhe ke –
Ghar vasya pachhi ketla hasya.?

Ack:- Sachidanand Mall

kisi ka error, kisi ki exception,
kisi ka bug, kisi ki tension,
yahaan pe programmer ki har khushi,
rupaiya hai ya dollar hai ya pound,
hey server down, down……
hey server down, down……

hmmm kitna kitna, kitna kaafi hai kisko bolo
uske jitna, apni salary ko aise tolo
sabka dharam, ki kam na ho rakam,
saare sapnon mein sikko ka sound,
hey server down, down….
hey server down, down….

(la la la la….)oh yeah

chikni, chikni, meri noto ki chamdi chikni
tikni, tikni project hai inke dum pe bikni
skill hai naram, to khayega zakham,
tera bug tester ka found,
hey server down, down….
hey server down, down….

kisi ka error, kisi ki exception,
kisi ka bug, kisi ki tension,
yahaan pe programmer ki har khushi,
rupaiya hai ya dollar hai ya pound,
hey server down, down……
hey server down, down……

Ack:- Vaishali Ghogane

There was a contest in a company to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line “On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station ”

This is what one professional wrote for the contest……. surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story ;;))

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed…. My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”… As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee’s name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready”

Ack:- Nirav Desai

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.

4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.

7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.

6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect You to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t Believe you… 🙂

Brazil won the world cup in 1994. Before that, he had won this title for the last time in 1970.
If you add up: 1970 + 1994 = 3964

Argentina won the world cup for the last time in 1986. Before that only in 1978.
And 1978 + 1986 = 3964

Germany, though, won the world cup in 1990. Before that, Germany won in 1974.
Look: 1990 + 1974 = 3964

This could lead us to guess the winner of the World Cup in 2002, since it should be the winner of the 1962 World Cup (In fact 3964 – 2002 = 1962). And Brazil won the world cup in 1962! (And, in fact, Brazil won the 2002 WC)

This numerology seems to work…
And now, who would be the winner of the 2006 world cup?
Let’s see, 3964 – 2006 = 1958 And who won in 1958?….

Oh, Brazil did!!!

Ack:- Potnuru Archana

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different … nothing more

Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can’t communicate.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep ot.

Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact diffe rence between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

Ack:- Gaurav Solanki

Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”

Finally father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gate’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude should be positive.

Ack:- Vijay Raut

A MANjoined a big Multi National Company as a trainee…..

On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!”

The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?”
“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.

“Thank God!” replied the trainee and put down the phone…..

Ack:- Umang S Nahata

Arj Kiya Hai………

Main lafzon se kuch bhi izhaar nahi karta ,
iska matlab ye nahi ki main pyar nahi karta ,

Chahta hu main Use aaj bhi per,
uski soch main waqt bekar nahi karta

Tamasha na ban jaye yeh mohabbat meri
isliye apne dard ka izhaar nahi karta ,

Jo kuch mila hai usi me kush hu main,
uske liye khuda se takrar nahi karta ,

par kuch to baat hai uski fitrat main aye zalim,
warna use chahne ki khata baar-baar nahi karta …………