Ack:- Taslim Satya
Its binary James bond ! 🙂
Shame on the readers as u r TechSavy u shld know this
Ack:- Taslim Satya
Its binary James bond ! 🙂
Shame on the readers as u r TechSavy u shld know this
Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a Loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was Around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle Open.
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep It in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot The matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by Its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine Meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother Hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She Was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child , He looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story ?
ANSWER :
The husband just said ” I am with you Darling “
The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The Child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point In finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to Keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she Needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would Be much fewer problems in the world. “ A journey of a thousand miles Begins with a single step. ” Take off all your envies, jealousies,Unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are Actually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,Whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this Way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your money you give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search his father’s important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words…PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
Ack:- Sachindanand Mall
What is Bruce Lee’s favorite vegetable?
A. Mu Lee
What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?
A. Tha Lee
What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
A. Kha Lee
What is Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
A. Saa Lee
Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast?
A. Id Lee
Bruce Lee’s favorite Music?
A. Qawa lee
Bruce Lee’s favorite festival?
A. Diwa Lee
Bruce Lee’s favorite Actress?
A. Sona lee
What is Bruce Lee’s most interesting job?
A. Coo Lee
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite hill station?
A. Kulu Mana Lee
How did Bruce Lee die?
A. With a Go Lee
Dear Terrorist,
Even if you are not reading this we don’t care. Time and again you tried to disturb us and disrupt our life – killing innocent civilians by planting bombs in trains, buses and cars. You have tried hard to bring death and destruction, cause panic and fear and create communal disharmony but everytime you were disgustingly unsuccessful. Do you know how we pass our life in Mumbai? How much it takes for us to earn that single rupee? If you wanted to give us a shock then we are sorry to say that you failed miserably in your ulterior motives. Better look elsewere, not here.
We are not Hindus and Muslims or Gujaratis and Marathis or Punjabis and Bengaliies. Nor do we distinguish ourselves as owners or workers, govt. employees or private employees. WE ARE MUMBAIKERS (Bombay-ites, if you like). We will not allow you to disrupt our life like this. On the last few occassions when you struck (including the 7 deadly blasts in a single day killing over 250 people and injuring 500+ in 1993), we went to work next day in full strength. This time we cleared everything within a few hours and were back to normal – the vendors placing their next order, businessmen finalizing the next deals and the office workers rushing to catch the next train. (Yes the same train you targetted)
Fathom this: Within 3 hours of the blasts, long queues of blood donating volunteers were seen outside various hospital, where most of the injured were admitted. By 12 midnight, the hospital had to issue a notification that blood banks were full and they didn’t require any more blood. The next day, attendance at schools and office was close to 100%, trains & buses were packed to the brim, the crowds were back. The city has simply dusted itself off and moved one – perhaps with greater vigour.
We are Mumbaikers and we live like brothers in times like this. So, do not dare to threaten us with your crackers. The spirit of Mumbai is very strong and can not be harmed.
Please forward this to others. U never know, by chance it may come to hands of a terrorist in Afghanistan, Pakistan or Iraq and he can then read thismessage which is specially meant for him!!!
With Love,
From the people of Mumbai (Bombay)
A Professor at one of the IIM’s (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-
1.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:”I am very rich. Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing
2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. Marry him.” – That’s Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich.Marry me.” – That’s Telemarketing
4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” – That’s Public Relations
5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That’s Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:”I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. That’s demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him – That’s competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – That’s restriction for entering new markets
Ack:- Senoy Laxman
Questions
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms.The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins withloaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years.Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful ! dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of
this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, W! ednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
6. This is an unusual paragraph.
I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Answers
1. The third. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
4. The answer is Charcoal.
5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
6. The letter “e,” which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph…
Ack:- Sridhar Dontha
[1] CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
[2] CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.
[3] BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
[4] BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
[5] VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
[6] P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
[7] BROKER — What my broker has made me.
[8] STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
[9] STOCK ANALYST! — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
[10] STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
[11] MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
[12] CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
[13] INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
[14] MOMENTUM INVESTING – The fine art of buying high and selling low.
[15] INVESTOR – Sucker
Ack:- Gopi Parchuri
Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…ok”
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”
This is how business is done!!
Ack:- Sridhar Dontha
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga…
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga…
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye…
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye…
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo…
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo…
Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don’t like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
no more disk space.
Ghar se jab tum nikle
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya server down.
Jabse meri zindagi mein,
aayi hai ek female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya mailbox, kya e-mail.
Dil se ek ishq ki
application create kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se debug karna
mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera isp connection
time out ho gaya..
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