Ye Meri Life Hai - Chirag Mehta

Be Good & Do Good!

Category: Forwards (page 39 of 48)

Good forwards

Ten Reasons to Throw out your Microwave Oven

From the conclusions of the Swiss, Russian and German scientific clinical studies, we can no longer ignore the microwave oven sitting in our kitchens. Based on this research, following are the ten reasons to throw out your Microwave Oven

1). Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes long term – permanent – brain damage by “shorting out” electrical impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain tissue].

2). The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the unknown by-products created in microwaved food.

3). Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by continually eating microwaved foods.

4). The effects of microwaved food by-products are residual [long term, permanent] within the human body.

5). Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients of all microwaved food is reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit, or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot be broken down.

6). The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free radicals when cooked in microwave ovens.

7). Microwaved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths [tumors]. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer in America .

8). The prolonged eating of microwaved foods causes cancerous cells to increase in human blood.

9). Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.

10). Eating microwaved food causes loss of memory, concentration, emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.

India is the 125th happiest country in the world

India is the 125th happiest country in the world, a world map of happiness prepared by a British scientist claimed on Friday.

Denmark is the happiest country in the world and Burundi in Africa is the unhappy as per the map produced by Adrian White, Analytic Social Psychologist at the University of Leicester.

According to the study, happiness is found to be most closely associated with health, followed by wealth and education. China is happier than India with an 82nd position while Japan is placed at 90.

“We were surprised to see countries in Asia scoring so low, with China 82nd, Japan 90th and India 125th. These are countries that are thought as having a strong sense of collective identity which other researchers have associated with well-being,” a University of Leicester release said.

“It is also notable that many of the largest countries in terms of population do quite badly. With China 82nd, India 125th and Russia 167th it is interesting to note that larger populations are not associated with happy countries,” it said.

Switzerland, Austria and Iceland follow Denmark in the Map of happiness. It places United States at 23, UK at 41 and France at 62.

The study is based on data from 178 countries and on the findings of over 100 different studies around the world, which questioned 80,000 people. Participants were asked questions related to happiness and satisfaction with life.

How to counter telemarketers…

Do you hate getting phone calls from telemarketers as much as I do? Well, here are some ways to get your revenge!

1.After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder…louder…louder!

7.Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8.If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…”

9.Catch them off guard by saying in a husky voice, “What are you wearing?”

10. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really male.

Beauty of mathematics

Take a look at beauty of mathematics……

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

Love Letter

Girl : Aisa khat likh ke de sajna ve, Meri umar beet jaye padhte padhte

BoY : For(I = 1 ; i

Pj of the Day

Tortoise and rabbit gave IIT exam and tortoise got 80% and rabbit got 81%.

Both wanted admission in a good engineering college, cut off was 85%.
Rabbit dint get but tortoise got…
U wanted to know How….

Ans: Remember tortoise had won the race when you were in first standard..
So.. Sports quota!!!!

Profile of a Software Engineer(Orkut)…

About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!! Ok…I won’t be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (If you know me–> “Just stop laughing!!”)
Relationship status: what?
Birthday: The day my PL is about to fire me
Age: 10111
Here for: web browsing in company hours
Children: can’t be (hey, don’t get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity: Programmer
Languages I speak: Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view: the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor: weekly
Sexual orientation: When will I have sex?
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.
Pets: Yeah, my PL looks like a dog.
Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown: My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage: http://naukri.com, http://jobsahead.com
Passions: cursing my company, looking for another company, remembering my good old college days,worrying about my future.
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess
Activities: Are you crazy?
Books: “How to lose weight in 20 days?”, “How to live a happy life?”, “101 ways to attract a girl”, “Java Unleashed”, “C++ at your footsteps”, Others censored.
Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.
Tv shows: can’t afford one
Cuisines: Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 metres of home.

Erroneous Advertisers

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake…

MONDAY: For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth’s ad yesterday. It should have read, “One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: “For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

Marriage invitation……..(SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@ BrideGroom Char(NotBad),
@Bride Char(Good)
AS

SELECT Bride FROM
Delhi Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND
CarCount > 2 AND
HouseStatus =’TwoStoreyed’ AND
BrideEduStatus=’PGorAbove’
HavingBrothers=’NO’ AND
HavingSisters =’No’ AND
AllowRelocate =’YES’ AND

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (‘Ford’)

PJ of the Day

Agar ek NAGIN ek NAG ko kiss karegee to NAG kaunsa gaana gayega

“Zeher hei kya pyaar hei tera chumma “

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