Ack:- Anand U singh

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga…
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..
Magar Mujhe Kaam Tha……
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta…
Magar Mujhe Zukham Tha !

Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!

Ack : – Gopikrishna Parchuri

A conference is a gathering of important people who individually can’t do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Ack : – Shama Patel

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Ack:- Sagar Shah

1… God won’t ask what kind of car you drove;
He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

2… God won’t ask the square footage of your house,
He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3… God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet,
He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4… God won’t ask what your highest salary was,
He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5… God won’t ask what your job title was,
He’ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6… God won’t ask how many friends you had,
He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7… God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived,
He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8… God won’t ask about the color of your skin,
He’ll ask about the content of your character.

9… God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,
He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10… God won’t ask how many people you forwarded this to,
He’ll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

Read Carefully
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.

“Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Little Johnny.
“Nope.” replied Jimmy.
“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”.
Again Jimmy says “Nope.”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?” asks Little Johnny.
“No,” said Jimmy.
“I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty’.

Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch.
He vowed to get one for himself.
That night, he waited outside his parents’ bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.

His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily.
“What do you want now?”
“I wanna watch,” Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, “Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.”

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.

Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day — the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.He says ” I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die”. Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says ” If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die “Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says ” Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor”

Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch.
Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu’s widow says ” I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch “The Bengali’s widow says ” I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch” The sardarji’s widow says ” I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch….!!!

In a recent marketing campaign in Vancouver, 3M sought a strong image for their security glass.

They modified a bus shelter and fitted their security glass and filled it with REAL BANKNOTES. Many have tried to gain access with golf clubs and baseball bats but obviously the glass remains intact! This is what you call having faith in your own product…

How many of you would do that????

Posham pa bhai posham pa
sau(100) rupay ki ghadi churayi
ab to jail mein jana padega
jail ki roti khana padega
jail ka pani peena padega
thayi thuiya thush
madari baba fushhhhhh….

Machhali Jal ki Rani hai
Jeewan uska paani hai
hath lagao darr jayegi
bahar nikalo mar jayegi…

Jhooth bolna paap hai
nadi kinare saanp hai
kali mai aayegi
tumko utha le jayegi…