Ack:- Tanmay Vora

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) ,

After WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much ,I dare to say that You are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and BOSCH (Invented for life) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI(Better than the best). You are DOMINO’S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh ) feeling for me.

I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don’t worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).

If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let’s Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye). For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone’s Invited) and after marriage we’ll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME – The World’s best homemakers)

Trust in God who’s always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for each other) . Now that HYUNDAI(we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life) , SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy ) and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!

I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).

Dad, Rahul and Preeti loved watching television. The three of them always fought as to who will watch what Their mother wouldn’t interfere with their fights. Each one would snatch the remote and keep changing channels. Rahul wanted to watch the cricket match, Preeti wanted to watch the cookery show and Dad the Political news.

This is what their mother heard one day when she was in the kitchen:

In the parliament today…Nehra bowled his first over…and is washed away in boiling water….The finance minister…went straight into the hands of Tendulkar…and is sliced into pieces…. Mr. Krishna visited…Anil Kumble who is now going to…break the egg and…the leader of the opposition party…is hit on the face…which will now turn red in two minutes…during the zero hour…both the umpires…are fried golden brown. We now end the news bulletin…by calling Dravid…to peel the onion.

Zindagi hai choti , har pal mein khush raho…
Office me khush reho, ghar mein khush raho..
Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho,
Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, do kadam chal ke he khush raho..
Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho..
Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho…
Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho..
Jisse dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho…
Jisse paa nahi sakte uske yaad mein he khush raho
MBA karne ka socha tha, S/W mein he khush raho…
Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho..
bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meeti yaadein hai,unme he khush raho..
aane wale pal ka pata nahi..sapno mein he khush raho..
Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein he khush raho

Zindagi hai choti , har pal main khush raho…..!!

Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking:
These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:
Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Bush is thinking:
Damn it! Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She must’v have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking:
If this train goes through another tunnel I will make more kissing sounds and slap Bush again.

8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get
The Degree finally we get is B.E. – That is Brain Empty (B.E) (And then they recruit us !!)

Two men an Indian and an American, met at a bus stop and started a conversation.

The Indian kept complaining of family problems. Finally the American said:

“You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.

A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married and I got myself a step-daughter.

Later, my father married my step-daughter. That made my step daughter my step-mother. And my father became my step-son. Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

Much later the daughter of my wife, my step-mother, had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my Wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half brother.

This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my step-mother, is also his grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father’s wife.

I am my step-mother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRAND FATHER!!!!!!!!!!

And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS ???? George

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, “Gandi was a great man, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi.

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, ” You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!! – Awesome an IAS sort of answer

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, “how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250. “$250”, the man said. “Well what does he do? “He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. “He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters.”

The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, “$1,000.” Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird’s specialty was.

The clerk replies, “Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything. But the other two call him ” Project Manager ”

Ack:- Gayatree Nalawad

1. The program *KANK* has not been built as per the Functionality Design Specifications (script).

2. The director should have first created a proper Design Document (screenplay) and then begun the actual coding.

3. *AmitabhBachchan* is a powerful class with a number of methods and functions but it has not been effectively used.

4. *AbhishekBachchan,* a derived class of *AmitabhBachchan*, inherits all the attributes and properties of its parent class.

5. *ShahRukhKhan* and *RaniMukherjee* are emotionally overloaded and go into an infinite weeping loop every 60 milliseconds.

6. The methods such as *Songs()* and *Cinematography()* have been properly executed and produce fantastic results.

7. *PreityZinta* is an abstract class, which looks pretty but actually does nothing.

8. Functions like *ArjunRampal, JA, and KD* pass NULL values and are redundant.

9. The program takes an unbearably long time to terminate? about 3 hours and 20 minutes.

10. In User Acceptance Testing, too many defects were found.

Overall, the package is not worth purchasing. You may opt for pirated copies, though.