Ant & Grasshopper – the old story

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant’s house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support for the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) ..

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for “Bharat Bandh” in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad
allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Rath’

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ‘Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act’ [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh
makes ‘Special Reservation ‘ for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ‘A Triumph of Justice’.

Lalu calls it ‘Socialistic Justice ‘.

CPM calls it the ‘Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden ‘

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later…

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley ..

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India …..

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country!!!

A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in he lower.
At 2:00 AM , he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying,

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?
I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replied.
“Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we’re married?”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he is excited.
And she says :
“Get up and take it yourself”

If v treat her nice she says “yaar mujhe line de raha hai”
If v dont she says “kitna akarta hai”
If v dress nicely she says “mujhe impress karna chahta hai”
If v dont she says “tasteless hai yaar”
If v argue with her she says “ziddi hai”
If v sit quietly she says “dumb hai”
If v act smarter she’ll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says “is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai”
If v love her she says “peechhe hi pad gayaa hai”
If v dont tell her ur prob she says ” u r not honest 2 me”
If u do tell to her she says “u r a problem child”
If v scold her she says “you act like a grandpa giving lecture”
If she scolds us she says “Yaar, its becoz i care”
If v break a promise she says “She does not trust u any more”
If she breaks she says “jaan main majboor thi….
ladkiyan re ladkiya . .
bechare boys itna sab seh ke b chup chap rehte ….!!!!!!!!!

AA!TERE ASHKON KO APNI AANKHON MAI UTAARDUN,
TERI ZINDAGI KO APNI KHUSHIYON SE SAWAANRDUN,

NA RAHE KOI GILA TUJHE MUJH SE KABHIE,
TERI CHAHAT KA TUJHE AISA UPHAARDUN,

MILE TERE HISSE KI BHI BEQARAARI MUJHE,
KHOKAR MAI APNA SUKOON TUJHKO QARAARDUN,

TERI HAR SOCH KA AGHAAZ-O-ANJAAM RAHUN MAI,
BHULADE TU ZAMAANA,TUJHE MAI ITNA PYAARDUN!!!

40 over,40 over hai tumhare pass, shayad tumhare zindagi ke khass 40 over, aaj tum aaccha khelo ya bura yeh 40 over tumhe zindagi bhar yaad rahenge, toh aaj kaise khelna hai yeh mai tumhe nahi bataunga, buss itna kahunga ki jao aur yeh 40 over jee bhar ke khelo, kyunki iske baad aane wale zindagi mai chahe kuch sahi ho ya na ho, chahe kuch rahe ya na rahe,tum haro ya jeeto, lekin yeh 40 over tumse koi nahi chinn sakta, koi nahi!! Toh maine socha ki iss match mai kaise khelna hai yeh aaj main tumhe nahi bataunga balki tum mujhe batoge, khelkar, kyunki mai janta hu ki yeh 40 over iss team ka harr player apne zindagi ki sabse badiya cricket khel gaya, toh yeh 40 over khuda bhi tumse vapas mang nahi sakta. Toh jao, jao aur apne aap se, iss jindagi se, apne khuda se aur harr uss insaan se jisne tumpe bharosa kia hai, apne 40 over chinno………………………..

CHAK DE INDIA….

ALL THE BEST!!!!!

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant
turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai