Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun Mhatre an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?’ So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’ So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ‘ I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but
what do I have to lose?’ So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says ‘Kaisa hai re tu’
The other candidate answers ‘Accha hai re’

Once a smart S/W engineer and his PM were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma. With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping. Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that,” The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy…”

PM thought that,” I can’t believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake”
That girl thought that,” I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him”.
Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?
“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes…because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM………

A little boy wanted Rs.500 very badly and prayed for weeks, But nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs.500 .
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to ” God , India”,they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a JOKE.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200.

The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:

“Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.300 as taxes!”

Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk

with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask

him. One boy raised his hand and stood up.

Bush: what’s your name

John: john

Bush: what’s your question

John: sir I have three questions

1) why did Americaattack Iraqwithout the approval of UNO

2) where is Osama

3) why do Americasupport Pakistanso much

Bush: you are an intelligent student john. ( just then the bell for
recess rang).

oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.

After the recess

Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any
question?

Peter raises his hand

Bush :What’s your name?

Peter : sir I have 5 questions.

1) why did Americaattack Iraqwithout the approval of UNO

2) where is Osama

3) why do Americasupport Pakistanso much

4) why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time

5) where is JOHN?

( just then the bell for recess rang again ….).

After the recess

Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any
question?

Then, no one raised their hand….

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,
“After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should! Write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Do not value the THINGS you have in your life But value WHO you have in your life!

Poultry farm ke malik ne tammaam Murgiyon ko Order diya “Agar tum logon ne kal se Do–Do ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band”

Sab ne dar ke maare do-do ande diye.

Magar ek ne sirf ek hi anda diya.

Malik “Tumne 1 hi anda kyon diya? ”

Jawab mila…

“Sir ye toh aapke dar ki wajah se diya hai. Waise main to Murga hoon”……..

1) I hated sleep.

2) I had enjoyed my life enough.

3) I couldn’t live without tension.

4) I wanted to pay for my sins.

5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : karm karo , phal ki ichha na karo..

6) Everything in life has a reason; I wanted to prove it wrong.

7) I wanted to take revenge on myself .