CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

जिन्दगी ये kis मोड पे ले आयी है ,
ना मा, बाप, बहन , ना यहा कोई भाई है .
हर लडकी का है Boy Friend, हर लडके ने Girl Friend पायी है ,
चंद दिनो के है ये रिश्ते , fir वही रुसवायी है .

घर जाना Home Sickness कहलाता है ,
पर Girl Friend से मिलने को टाईम रोज mil जाता है .
दो दिन से नही पुछा मां की तबीयत का हाल ,
Girl Friend से पल – पल की खबर पायी है,
जिन्दगी ये kis मोड पे ले आयी है …..

कभी खुली हवा मे घुमते थे ,
अब AC की आदत लगायी है .
धुप हमसे सहन नही होती ,
हर कोई देता यही दुहाई है .

मेहनत के काम हम करते नही ,
इसीलिये Gym जाने की नौबत आयी है .
McDonalds, PizaaHut जाने लगे,
दाल- रोटी तो मुश्कील से खायी है .
जिन्दगी ये किस मोड पे ले आयी है …..

Work Relation हमने बडाये ,
पर दोस्तो की संख्या घटायी है .
Professional ने की है तरक्की ,
Social ने मुंह की खायी है.
जिन्दगी ये kis मोड पे ले आयी है

Ack:- Vishal Jain 

Youngest Son: “Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between “Potentiality” and “Reality”?
Dad: “I will show you”…
Dad turns to his wife and asks her:”Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars”?
Wife: “Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity”!

Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 Million dollars?
Daughter:” Wow! Yes! He is my fantasy!”

So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: “Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars”?
Elder Son: “Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars!I would never hesitate!”

So the father turns back to his younger son saying:”
You see son, “Potentiality” we are sitting on 3 million dollars,but in “Reality”
We are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay!!

Ack:- Hraday

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

5. There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman- before and after marriage.

6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

ક્યાં મળે ફ્રેન્ડસ મા આટલો પ્યાર,
કઇંક થાય ને મળવા આવે દોસ્ત હજાર,
ક્યાં એવી રીક્ષા અને ક્યાં એવા રસ્તા,
ત્યાની રેસ્ટોરન્ટ મોઘીં ને ત્યાના પાન સસ્તા,
અમદાવાદ મા જાત જાત ના લોકો વસતા,
ફ્રેન્ડસ જોડે ટાઇમ નીકળે હસતા હસતા.
ક્યાં એવો વરસાદ, ક્યાં એવી ગરમી,
કોને યાદ નથી મમ્મી ના ખોળા ની નરમી.
ક્યાં મળે છોકરીઓ આટલી હસતી શરમાતી,
ક્યાં મળે કોઇ સુરવાલ સાડીમા દિલ ધડકાવતી,
ક્યાં મળે કોઇને દુકાન આટલી સસ્તી,
ક્યાં મળે દુકાનદારોની આવી ઘરાક ભક્તી,
ક્યાં મળે કોઇને જીવન મા આટલી મસ્તી,
સૌથી બેસ્ટ આપડી અમદાવાદની વસ્તી.. ક્યાં એવી ઉત્તરાયણ, ક્યા એવી હોળી,
તહેવારો મા ભેગી થાય આખી ફ્રેન્ડસની ટોળી,
ક્યાં એવી નવરત્રિ, ક્યાં એવી દિવાળી,
ક્યાં એવા ડાન્ડીયા, ક્યાં એવા ધમાકા.
ક્યા મળે C. G. Roadની રંગીલી સાંજ,
ક્યા મળે લો-ગાર્ડનની ચટાકેદાર રાત ,
ક્યા મળે એ ક્લબોની મજા, ક્યા મળે એ મોડી રાતોની રજા,
ક્યા મળે હોનેસ્ટ જેવુ પાવ-ભાજી, ક્યા મળે પ્રભુ જેવુ પાન,
ક્યા મળે ફ્રિજલેન્ડ જેવી કોફી, ક્યા મળે ટેન જેવી નાન.
અમદાવાદ નો રંગ નીરાળો, અમદાવાદ નો ઢંગ નીરાળો,
હોય એમા ભલે કોઇ ખરાબી, તો પણ ગર્વથી કહો હુ છું Amdavadi

Its New Version of Gandhi’s Bandar

What is it signifying??
Can not see India losing.
Can not hear the audience outburst against the team
Can not speak in front of media about the causes of defeat.

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man’s life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh, yeah?” the man asked “And where the hell were you when I got married?”

Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.So he announced “Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.” Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, “My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.”
The whole audience including priest started laughing………. but not the poor groom!

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: “Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease”?
To this Arthur Ashe replied:
The world over —
5 crore children start playing tennis,
50 lakh learn to play tennis,
5 lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000 come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD “Why me?”.
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD “Why me?”
Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u glowing,
But only God Keeps u Going…..
Keep Going…..