Ack :- Divya bajpai..

Office me khush raho, ghar me khush raho
Zindagi hai choti, har pal me Khush raho…

Aaj Sahi Khana nahi hai, paneer me hi khush raho
Chapati nahi hai to kya, Rice me hi khush raho

Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, Kaam me hi khush raho..
Aur kabhi kaam hi na ho to vyayaam me hi khush raho…

Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, Tv dekh ke hi khush raho
Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone ker ke hi khush raho…

Sehwag ka shatak Door hai,1 darzan me hi khush raho
Aaj Cable kharab hai,Doordarshan me hi khush raho…

Aaj GF/BF gussa hai, uske is andaz me bhi khush raho
Jisse dekh nahi sakte uski awaz me hi khush raho…

IAF pilot banne ka socha tha, video game me hi khush raho,
Dawood to pakda nahi,fir Abu salem me hi khush raho…

Khushiyo ka intezar kyo,Gum me bhi khush raho
Laptop na mila to kya ,Desktop me hi khush raho…

Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, bita hua kal dukhi tha  
To kya hua, aane wale kal me khush raho

ek to zindagi hai, malal rekh ke kya kerenge,
ek zindagi, wo bhi chothi, har pal me khush raho…

Aur agar paka nahi sakte to kya hua pakne mein ki khush raho lekin bas khush raho………

Conclusion:  Happiness is the key to success.  If you remain happy in good as well as bad times,  then there is no stopping you from attracting the world towards you….remember,

A happy and smiling face is like a magnet which attracts each and every person towards you..

Ack :- Anand U Singh

1. Signboard outside a prostitute’s house: Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy…

2.Yesterday’s news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today’s news: More aunties found jogging.

3. How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE

4. Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they appear from outside.

5. Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khul dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasnelagi.
Masterji bole : Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

6. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

7. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: “Yahi thee,Yahi thee”

8. Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn’t satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu yaha ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ik tumhari aag nahin bujhti.

9.Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations.
At the time of packing Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.

10. Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe jaate!

11. Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Vendor: Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe to …. khana hai, g—d thodi m—- hai!

NO work load
NO work load

Apni to kaam-shala masti ki kaam-shala
apni to kaam-shala masti ki kaam-shala

na koi kaam karne wala
na koi appraisal pane wala

apni to kaam-shala masti ki kaam-shala
apni to kaam-shala masti ki kaam-shala

kaisa ye sannata hai…
kaam kyun nahi koi karta hai..
Charo aur machta Shor hai.
har koi kaam chor hai…

Continued in Comments

It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.

The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -“Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told – May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told “Hey – take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.

To this the sweet manager replied “Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don’t give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything.” Everyone looked at him blank.

The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought “What an Awesome Reply man!” 

Ack :- Melwyn Dsouza

· Have a firm handshake.

· Look people in the eye.

· Sing in the shower.

· Own a great stereo system.

· If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

· Keep secrets.

· Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
The woman said, “That’s okay.”

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to”.
The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. A! and he will be ten times richer than you.The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.” So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

“““
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

To Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they’re really smart.Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
–

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!! Forward this link to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour.

Ack :- Hetal Upadhyay

Your Love is Ur Heart,

Your heart is Ur Spouse,

Your spouse is Ur Future,

Your future is Ur Destiny,

Your destiny is Ur Ambition,

Your ambition is Ur Aspiration,

Your aspiration is Ur Motivation,

Your motivation is Ur Belief,

Your belief is Ur Peace,

Your peace is Ur Target,

Your target is Heaven,

Heaven is no fun without FRIENDS

H ours of happy times with friends and family
A bundant time for relaxation
P rosperity
P lenty of love when you need it the most
Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures

N ights of restful slumber (you know – dont’ worry be happy)
E verything you need
W ishing you love and light

Y ears and years of good health
E njoyment and mirth
A ngels to watch over you
R embrances of a happy years!

Get Up Stand Up
Get Up, Stand Up, stand up for your right (3 times)
Get Up, Stand Up, don’t give up the fight

Preacher man don’t tell me heaven is under the earth
I know you don’t know what life is really worth
Is not all that glitters in gold and
Half the story has never been told
So now you see the light, aay
Stand up for your right. Come on

Get Up, Stand Up, stand up for your right
Get Up, Stand Up, don’t give up the fight
(Repeat)

Most people think great God will come from the sky
Take away ev’rything, and make ev’rybody feel high
But if you know what life is worth
You would look for yours on earth
And now you see the light
You stand up for your right, yeah!

Get Up, Stand Up, stand up for your right
Get Up, Stand Up, don’t give up the fight
Get Up, Stand Up. Life is your right

So we can’t give up the fight
Stand up for your right, Lord, Lord
Get Up, Stand Up. Keep on struggling on

Don’t give up the fight
We’re sick and tired of your ism and skism game
Die and go to heaven in Jesus’ name, Lord
We know when we understand
Almighty God is a living man
You can fool some people sometimes
But you can’t fool all the people all the time
So now we see the light
We gonna stand up for our right
So you’d better get up, stand up, stand up for your right

Get Up, Stand Up, don’t give up the fight
Get Up, Stand Up, stand up for your right
Get Up, Stand Up, don’t give up the fight.

Us dil se pyar karo jo tumhe dard de
Par us dil ko kabi dard na do jo tume pyar kare

kyunki tum duniya ke liye koi ek ho
par kisi ke liye saari duniya ho