Girl : Aisa khat likh ke de sajna ve, Meri umar beet jaye padhte padhte

BoY : For(I = 1 ; i

Tortoise and rabbit gave IIT exam and tortoise got 80% and rabbit got 81%.

Both wanted admission in a good engineering college, cut off was 85%.
Rabbit dint get but tortoise got…
U wanted to know How….

Ans: Remember tortoise had won the race when you were in first standard..
So.. Sports quota!!!!

About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!! Ok…I won’t be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (If you know me–> “Just stop laughing!!”)
Relationship status: what?
Birthday: The day my PL is about to fire me
Age: 10111
Here for: web browsing in company hours
Children: can’t be (hey, don’t get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity: Programmer
Languages I speak: Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view: the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor: weekly
Sexual orientation: When will I have sex?
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.
Pets: Yeah, my PL looks like a dog.
Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown: My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage: http://naukri.com, http://jobsahead.com
Passions: cursing my company, looking for another company, remembering my good old college days,worrying about my future.
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess
Activities: Are you crazy?
Books: “How to lose weight in 20 days?”, “How to live a happy life?”, “101 ways to attract a girl”, “Java Unleashed”, “C++ at your footsteps”, Others censored.
Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.
Tv shows: can’t afford one
Cuisines: Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 metres of home.

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake…

MONDAY: For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth’s ad yesterday. It should have read, “One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: “For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@ BrideGroom Char(NotBad),
@Bride Char(Good)
AS

SELECT Bride FROM
Delhi Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND
CarCount > 2 AND
HouseStatus =’TwoStoreyed’ AND
BrideEduStatus=’PGorAbove’
HavingBrothers=’NO’ AND
HavingSisters =’No’ AND
AllowRelocate =’YES’ AND

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (‘Ford’)

Agar ek NAGIN ek NAG ko kiss karegee to NAG kaunsa gaana gayega

“Zeher hei kya pyaar hei tera chumma “

Ack:- Taslim Satya

Its binary James bond ! 🙂

Shame on the readers as u r TechSavy u shld know this

Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a Loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was Around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle Open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep It in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot The matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by Its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine Meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother Hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She Was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child , He looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story ?

ANSWER :
The husband just said ” I am with you Darling “

The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The Child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point In finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to Keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she Needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would Be much fewer problems in the world. “ A journey of a thousand miles Begins with a single step. ” Take off all your envies, jealousies,Unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are Actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,Whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this Way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Ack:- Sachindanand Mall

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite vegetable?
A. Mu Lee

What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ?
A. Tha Lee

What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
A. Kha Lee

What is Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
A. Saa Lee

Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast?
A. Id Lee

Bruce Lee’s favorite Music?
A. Qawa lee

Bruce Lee’s favorite festival?
A. Diwa Lee

Bruce Lee’s favorite Actress?
A. Sona lee

What is Bruce Lee’s most interesting job?
A. Coo Lee

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite hill station?
A. Kulu Mana Lee

How did Bruce Lee die?
A. With a Go Lee