Ye Meri Life Hai - Chirag Mehta

Be Good & Do Good!

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Indian vs American – Tit for Tat

An Indian is having his breakfast (coffee, croissants, bread, butter And jam) when an American man; chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Indian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: “You Indians eat the whole bread?”
Indian (coolly): “Of course.”
American: (after blowing a huge bubble)”We don’t. In America, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,transform them into croissants and sell them to India.” The American has a smirk
on his face.

The Indian munches on… gives a cold look but did not reply.

The American refuses to take the cue and persists: “Do you eat jelly with the bread??”
Indian: “Of Course.”
American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). “We don’t. In America we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into
jam and sell the jam to India.”

The Indian puts his coffee mug down…looks straight in the American’s eye and then asks: “Do you have sex in America?”
American: “Why of course we do”, the American says with a big smirk.
Indian: “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”
American: “We throw them away, of course.”
Indian: “We don’t. In India, we put them in a container, recycle them,melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America.

Jai Hind…………………..

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk – PRICELESS

Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of
him, all clean and pressed. Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. “Honey, breakfast is on the
stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!” So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door”. Confused, Rohit asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!”

His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, “Lady leave me alone! I’m married!”

Moral
Self-induced hangover — Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture — Rs. 20,000.00
Breakfast — Rs. 100.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk – PRICELESS

Avoid GF Whose Dad is a Pharmacist

A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist: “Hello, could you give me a condom. My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!”

The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going out,he returns and tells him: “Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too.” The pharmacist gives him a second condom; and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says: “After all, give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes allusions… and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting something from me!!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left,the sister on his right and the mom facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying: “Dear Lord, bless this dinner… thank you for all you give us…!” A minute later the boy is still praying: “Thank you Lord for your kindness…” Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down.

The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more than the others. She gets close to the boy and tells him in his ear: “I didn’t know you were so religious!!!”

The boy replies: “I didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!!!”

Hey Shona – Ta Ra Rum Pum


Lyrics ..Too Sweet

Hey Hey Ey Ey Ey Ey Hey Hey Hey Hey……
Tumhe Pata Toh Hoga, Tumhi Pe Main Fida Hoon
Tumhe Hai Jabse Chaaha, Hawaaon Mein Udata Hoon
Tumhi Mere Har Pal Mein, Tum Aaj Mein, Tum Kal Mein
Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona….
Tumhe Pata Toh Hoga Ke Mere Dil Mein Kya Hai
Chalo Kahe Deti Hoon, Kabhi Nahi Jo Kahaan Hai
Tumhi Mere Har Pal Mein, Tum Aaj Mein, Tum Kal Mein
Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona….

Tum Jo Ghussa Bhi Karo Toh Mujhe Pyaar Lagata Hai Jaane Kyun
Main Toh Jo Bhi Kahu Tumhe Ikraar Lagata Hai Jaane Kyun
Chhodo Bhi Ye Ada, Paas Aake Jara, Baat Dil Ki Koi Keh Do Na
Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona….

Saari Duniya Ko Chhodake Maine Chaaha Hai Ik Tumhe
Maine Jindagi Se Maanga Hai Toh Sirf Maanga Hai Ik Tumhe
Abb Isi Chaah Mein, Abb Isi Raah Mein, Jindagibhar Mere Tum Ho Na
Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona….
Tumhe Pata Toh Hoga, Tumhi Pe Main Fida Hoon
Tumhe Hai Jabse Chaaha, Hawaaon Mein Udata Hoon
Tumhi Mere Har Pal Mein, Tum Aaj Mein, Tum Kal Mein
Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona….
Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona, Hey Shona…….
Hey Hey Ey Ey Ey Ey Hey Hey Hey Hey

Gandhi’s Birthdate to be World’s Non-Violence day

Brand Gandhi is about to get bigger on the global stage. As many as 114 UN member-countries joined hands on Monday to support India’s resolution to declare Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday on October 2 as the ‘International Day of Non-Violence’.

The move to get the international community to pay tribute to Gandhi’s ideology was a follow-up to the Satyagraha conference organised by the Congress early this year and a subsequent campaign launched by the government.

Speaking at the conference, titled ‘Peace, Non-Violence and Empowerment — Gandhian Philosophy in the 21st Century’, Congress president Sonia Gandhi had called for steps to get the Mahatma’s birthday marked as the International Day of Non-Violence.

Anand Sharma, minister of state for external affairs who was Sonia’s point person for the conference, welcomed the outpouring of global support to the campaign. ‘‘It’s great to see the global response to the declaration adopted at the Satyagraha conference.’’

Read More @ Indiatimes.Com’s Times of India

Life lessons from Narayana Murthy

N R Narayana Murthy, chief mentor and chairman of the board, Infosys Technologies, delivered a pre-commencement lecture at the New York University (Stern School of Business) on May 9. It is a scintillating speech, Murthy speaks about the lessons he learnt from his life and career. We present it for our readers:

Dean Cooley, faculty, staff, distinguished guests, and, most importantly, the graduating class of 2007, it is a great privilege to speak at your commencement ceremonies.

I thank Dean Cooley and Prof Marti Subrahmanyam for their kind invitation. I am exhilarated to be part of such a joyous occasion. Congratulations to you, the class of 2007, on completing an important milestone in your life journey.

After some thought, I have decided to share with you some of my life lessons. I learned these lessons in the context of my early career struggles, a life lived under the influence of sometimes unplanned events which were the crucibles that tempered my character and reshaped my future.

Read More @ Rediff.Com

Things we can learn from Dil Chahta Hai .. ..

Freaking out and enjoying life doesn’t necessarily need drugs or cigarettes.

There are relationships apart from Bf/Gf; like marriage,siblings,friendship that can be very emotional and true which is beyond the understanding of many people.

And yeah even though U may be the best of friends there is always a limit which should never be crossed. Then it starts hurting………..

Improving U r imperfections after you realize it, always take some time.

You always don’t need to show or prove your Gf/Bf how much U love or care about her/him, which can sound very boring and finally U R dumped.

Believe in Love , true love will never let you down

Never be ashamed to go back to your old friends, friends are there to understand your mistakes.

Do not be afraid of others, always think that others are afraid of you. (remember the Australian Beggar at the railway station…?)

Whenever you need your friend, remember that he is just a phone call away…distances can’t separate friends

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 A. M. that matter.

The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with never say a word, and then walk away with a feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

And last but not the least- do what your heart loves.. Karo wahi jo, DIL CHAHTA HAI !!!

Chip will run games on mainframe computers

The powerful “Cell” microprocessor that fuels Sony Corp.’s PlayStation 3 video game console will be available in IBM mainframe computers so those high-performance machines can run complex online games and virtual worlds.

Jointly developed by IBM, Sony and Toshiba Corp., Cell is touted as a “supercomputer on a chip” because of its design, which includes one central processing unit helped by eight additional processors working on specific tasks.

Because of that unusual architecture, Cell’s use outside of PlayStations has been limited to specialized hardware for graphics-intensive functions such as military or medical applications.

Mainframes are big computers commonly used for transaction processing and other centralized tasks.

Despite their old-fashioned reputation, IBM’s mainframe sales have been on an upswing. IBM has encouraged customers to perform a wider variety of computing functions on them since mainframes can run multiple processors and operating systems at once.

Adding Cell chips to mainframes to make the machines into hubs for online gaming and simulations could bolster that strategy, analysts said.

“It opens up some new potential frontiers,” said Charles King of Pund-IT Research.

An Unbiased Comparison btwn TCS n Infy

UPDATE(20 Mar 2010) – Below comparison is based on someone’s PERCEPTION, its not final or true words.. Its about you, how well you received acknowledgement in either of the big MNC. As per me, TCS is really good to work with. So just ENJOY the article ..

TATA CONSULTANCY SERVICES
Experience Certainty.
“This is something that our clients already know; now we are letting the Cat
out of the Bag”
Vision: “To be Global Top 10 by 2010”

INFOSYS TECHNOLOGIES LTD
Win the Flat World.
“The competition has been leveled, the world is flat”

These are the two leading Indian IT companies that are set to lead the IT
world globally. Both are basically “Computer Services Companies” even though
they have their own Products like “Infy Finacle” and “TCS Quartz”.

Even though they compete in the same area,
Even though they have many common clients,
Even though they do a lot of similar work,
these two are totally different in the way they work, their policies, the
way they see the clients/employees, the way they handle projects.

TCS is a 39 year old $4 billion company compared to Infosys which is 25 year
old $3 billion company. Let’s compare from two perspectives:
1) Customer
2) Employee

1) Customer
As a Customer to these two companies, you won’t find much differences. Both
deliver things on time, both deliver code of same quality etc.
But TCS may be a bit cheaper than Infosys, but latter may guarantee more
quality
for that price.

2) Employee
As an Employee, one can see a lot of differences.

1) Work Pressure
This is the first and foremost thing an employee looks for. Here obviously
TCS scores. You will rarely see people slogging in TCS whereas there is no
Infy without Slogging. Of course this difference to certain extent comes
from some extra quality things that are done at Infy, but still TCS do not
mind saying “No” when it’s difficult. Infy manager rarely has the world “No”
in their dictionary.

Note: No matter what facilities a company provides, if the workload is high,
your life will be miserable.

2) Remuneration
Infy have a well defined compensation policy. They have increments every
year and everything follows proper process. At the end, TCS guy too have the
same salary, but there are no processes as such.
One good thing about TCS is their Variable pay is less compared to infy
i.e. TCS gives what they promises but Infy may not.

Infosys is a company that loves to make Employees pay tax.
In a way, Infy is more patriotic.
TCS is more practical and loves to be in the side of employees.

3) Infrastructure
Well, this point, don’t even think of comparing. They are miles apart.
Infosys has world class facilities which only a few companies can boast of.
TCS infrastructure is pathetic say even it is Buildings, Computers,
Internet, Transport or Food courts. Computers @ TCS are generations behind.

4) Security
“Too much security” is an apt phrase for TCS. It is good from customer point
of view, but very very bad from an Employee point of view. You need to get
lot of permissions to login to a system and need a lot of access to make it
working. Half your life will go in TCS raising tickets or you will become
too lazy that you will stop using some of the facilities instead of raising
tickets. Life is so much better at Infy where things are “Hare paced’ not
“Tortoise paced” like TCS processes.

5) Work Culture
Infy has a lot of team building activities, cultural programs etc from the
HR side where as a TCS guy will see an HR only when he is in bench.
But sometimes the Infy activities end up creating a lot of pressure which
finally ends up in dissatisfaction which was actually intented Employee
satisfaction. But Infy do score here.

6) Ethics
Infy is really a company with a conscience. It is very transparent and
manages things in a beautiful way. It is indeed the “BEST MANAGED COMPANY”.
TCS has to go a long way in this to achieve this level of Transparency even
though they are trying.

7) Initiatives
There are a lot of initiatives that happens in Infy like for example “The
Ozone initiative”. It aims at reducing the paper usage. Infy will never use
paper unless it’s very necessary. “Online” rules Infy.

In TCS, one can see paper paper every where. Even for a survey, they don’t
have a proper “Survey” tool, which in turn leads them to the Manual paper
survey which not only leads to inefficiency but also it wastes lot of paper,
which in turn wood, which in turn trees, which in turns harms the Nature.

Btw, sometimes i do prefer certain things in Paper.

Then there are very active Bulletin Boards, Writer’s Forums etc in Infy
which you will never find in any another company.

8) Brand Name
Infy shows the ordinary things as Extra ordinary. That is their way of
Branding while TCS was not bothered about branding till now as they had a
strong Backbone from “TATA”. Now they have realized the importance of
branding and they have started a good campaign for better branding.

9) Code Quality Vs Documentation
Code Quality is the keyword of TCS while Infy will bore people with the word
“Documentation”. Even though the word “Documentation” is boring, it is very
important in the long run.

10) Average Age
Average age of employees in Infy is much less than that of TCS. TCS runs
mainly with Experienced people where as Infy is a “Fresher” driven company
making it more like college.

11) Processes
Too many Processes spoil the Code. This happens only in Infy.

Each company has its Prons and Cons. It’s the Employee who should decide
what they want.

How to Impress a Client

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, “Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor.” “Yes?”. “I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, and I’ m waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say “Hi Tom?” “Sure.”

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.”Hi, Tom,” he said.

I replied, “Shut up, Bill, I’m in a meeting.”

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