A chicken farmer went to a local bar. . . sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” the farmer says, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”

“This is a special day for me too, I’m also celebrating!” says the woman.
“What a coincidence” says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”

“My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I’m pregnant!”

“What a coincidence,” says the man . . . “I’m a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally laying fertilized eggs.”

“That’s great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?” . “I used a different cock,” he replied.

The woman smiled and said, “What a coincidence!”

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”

“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”

“How about transportation?” the father asked.

“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”

“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.

“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”

I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”

The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring, “he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”

“Ever since my wife found it in my car.”

Ack :- Abhirup Ghosh

The news editor looks worried.
The owner sits nearby with his face buried.
The rating is dipping,
The barometer is tripping.

The channel is going down,
With competition all around.
Frustration keeps mounting,
People are sweating.

“What to do? Where to go?”
“We’ve tried all tricks; what more is there to show?”
Breaking news and sensations do not count any more.
Even the fabulous anchors have become an eyesore.

Crime investigations have become clichéd.
News is not shown. It is created.
Sting operations are becoming a big risk,
Big Brother is watching with an invisible fist.

They need an idea.
The nine o’clock news is their only hope.
But that looks worse
Than a run-of-the-mill soap.

Suddenly an idea clicks in their mind.
It may be a flop or a great find.
People want instant news.
What if they get it a minute early?

Let others show advertisements,
They will show headlines.
They start off at eight fifty nine,
With hopes of an ominous sign.

Will it work?
Will it sell?
This is something perhaps,
I can’t tell.

Dil ki baat dil main mat rakhna,
jo pasand ho usay I Love U kahna,
agar woh gussay main aajay to darna mat,
sar jhukana aur kahna,
pyari behna milti rahna

Aur bhi kitni cheezein lut chuki hai dil k saath
ye farmaya doston ne ishq farmane k baad
isliye room ki har cheez kar leta hoon check
Ek tere aane se pehle ek tere jane k baad.

Aaina dekh kar begana hogaya,
woh apne he husn ka dewana hogaya,
Muqabla husn main hisa liya aap ne bhi,
Auron ko to cup mila magar..
aap ko jurmana hogaya

Jis tarhan suraj nikalta hai har raat k baad,
Chand alwida kehta hai mulaqaat k baad,
Tum ghar se mat nikalna warna log kahenge,
Dekho mandak nikal aya barsaat k baad.

Us ne hathon pe mehndi lagai hui hai
hum ne us ki doli uthai hui hai
Humain pata tha woh bewafa niklegi isiliye
Hum ne us ki choti behan bhi phansai hui hai

Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaatte kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…

Sea view ka fawara na hota.
Girls college k gate ka nazara na hota,
ager fashion ney larkiyon ko bigarah na hota
To ahmedabad ka koi larka awara na hota.

har karz dosti ka ada koun karega?
hum na rahe to dosti koun karega?
Aey khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna,
warna meri shadi mein dance koun karega?

bull bull ka bacha,
khata tha khichri, pita tha pani,
gata tha gane, mere sarhane,
ek din uraya, wapis na aaya,
kuttay ka bacha.

aap ko miss karna roz ki baat hai
aap ko yaad karna adaat ki baat hai
aap se dur rahna kismat ki baat hai
magar aap ko jhelna himmat ki baat hai

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78?

At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed

At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

At 78 — What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???