Ack:- Alkesh

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as she steps into the room. ‘Why are you down here at this time of night?’

The husband looks up from his coffee, ‘Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?’ he asks solemnly.

‘Yes I do’ she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. ‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?’

‘Yes, I remember’ said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. ‘Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?’

‘I remember that too’ she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, ‘I would have been released today!’

Ack:- Sharayu

Have a firm handshake.
Look people in the eye.
Sing in the shower.
Own a great stereo system.
If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Keep secrets.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks.
Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.
Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with children, let them win.
Give people a second chance, but not a third.
Be romantic.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for your convenience, not the caller’s.
Be a good loser.
Be a good winner.
Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
Keep it simple.
Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the one’s you did.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
Once in a while, take the scenic route.
Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific.’
Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
Become someone’s hero.
Marry only for love.

Count your blessings.
Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home.
Wave at the children on a school bus.
Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
Don’t expect life to be fair.

[Kit kit kat kat, kat kit kat kat, Kit kit kat kat, Let’s code] 2
Hai bachelor (hai bachelor), Has lotsa dollar (lotsa dollar)…
Hai bachelor, has lotsa dollar…
Spectacular! He’s a developer (he’s a developer, he’s a developer)…
Pappu ka dimaag tez hai, Pappu ko breaks ka craze hai…
Pappu ka chashma thick black, Pappu dikhta geek hai (geek hai)…
Swatch ki ghadi hathon mein, Gale mein tag company wala…

[Par Pappu can’t code saala] 2

Han Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Paida Pappu hua to outsourcing aa thamki…
Angrezon ke muh se nikhli gandhe gaaliyon ki dhamki…
(hey array array) Pappu karta hey cut copy paste…
(hey array array) Tester logon ka time karta hey waste…
(hey array array) Pappu manager logon ka yaar hai…
(hey array array) Pappu beer peene mein toh star hai…

[But Pappu can’t code saala] 2

Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Papa kehte the bada kaam karega…
Nahi patha tha Pappu bus maska marega…
(hey array array) Pappu ke paas hai MBA…
(hey array array) Mangata hai onsite jaise ho holiday…
(hey array array) Pappu keyboard bajata hai…
(hey array array) Jahaan bhi jata hai, wapus aa jata hai…

[Cos Pappu can’t code saala] 2

Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta…
Yeah…Pappu can’t code saala…!!!

Ack:- Heena

Teri doli uthi,
Meri mayyat uthi,
Phool tujh par bhi barse,
Phool mujh par bhi barse,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,
…………….
Tu saj gayi,
Mujhe sajaya gaya ,
Tu bhi ghar ko chali,
Main bi ghar ko chala,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

………….

Tu uth ke gayi,
Mujhe uthaya gaya ,
Mehfil wahan bhi thi,
Log yahan bhi the,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

…………..

Unka hasna wahan,
Inka rona yahan,
Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,

Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere pade,
Tera nikah pada, Mera janaaza pada,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,
Tujhe apnaya gaya ,
Mujhe dafnaya gaya.

, FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA, !!! -:(

The Manager says: Do you have any sales experience?
The Indian says: Sir, I was a salesman back home in India.
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. You start tomorrow.. Ill come down after we close and see how you did.

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. How many sales did you make today?
Indian boy says: Sir, Just ONE sale.
The boss says: Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, youd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?

Indian boy says: 237. 64
Boss says: 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?
Indian boy says: Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where hes going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him hell be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didnt think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where hell be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while were at it, I should throw in about worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: Youre not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?

Indian boy says: No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind.

Ack :- Gayatreee

I remember the incident – I was in a restaurant and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you know you wouldn’t if she weren’t there. And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we’d have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting.

A while later, she asked me the question what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff.My jokes weren’t funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else.
What was it?
Why? Why? Why?

Two days later, I still couldn’t get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. ‘So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?’ And then she said, trying to be nice, ‘Well, it’s just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don’t know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything…not very touchy feely’.

Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don’t really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.
It’s time to set the record straight.

It’s true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, ‘Are you getting married next year or not?’ I was liable to say, ‘Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,’ and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn’t explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.

Yet, ladies, I don’t think we’re bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the this ‘touchy-feely’ thing. Relationships.

Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for ‘gulab-jamuns’ in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man. So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, ‘So, what were your hostel days like?’ and chances are, you’ll see a heart behind the calculator.

Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers… too cheesy. Music… don’t know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears… don’t even go there.Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. ‘Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won’t get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely… oops, I mean coffee/tea?’

She giggled. When they giggle, you have won

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
=> Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
=> Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words, Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
=> Men = Donkeys + earn money
=> Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words, Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
=> Women = Donkeys + spend
=> Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words, Women that don’t spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have? Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!