Ack:~ Sridhar V Dontha

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India.

1. A student’s leave letter:
“As I am suffering from my uncle’s marriage I cannot attend the class….”

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2. A candidate’s application:
“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘typist And an accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.”

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3. I.T.I., Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife.Please sanction me one-week leave.

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4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”

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5. A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”

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6. An incident of a leave letter:
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.”

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7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.

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8. A covering note:
“I am enclosed herewith…”

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9. >From H.A.L. Administration dept:
As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it,Please grant me 10 days leave.

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10. Actual letter written for application of leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave”.

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11. Letter writing:
“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.”

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12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was Performing his daughter’s wedding:
“As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave…”

Belive it or not…….

1. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer
neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3.When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re
not thinking the way he is.

4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about.

5. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad
characteristics.

6. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.

8. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.

9. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”.
… so true.

10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

11. Guys love their moms.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a
couple of roses.

13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this
doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.

14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face
of the earth faster than girls can.

17. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.

18. Guys are very open about themselves.

19. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t
let him wait that long.

20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not
that much pretty.

22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don’t need to give advice … very true.

23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he
teases you.

24. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

25. Guys think too much.

26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

27. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight
does! … very true.

28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!

29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the
topic is about girls.

30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.

31. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.

32. Guys hate girls who overreact.

33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in
your relationships.

Ack: ~ Vishal Jain

An English professor wrote the words :

” A woman without her man is nothing”

on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:

“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All the females in the class wrote:

” A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is powerful

Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh…. Naye
language seekh. Night out Maar….Fundoo programming kar like me….! Do so! mething cool man !!

You: Achha! To usse Kya hoga .

Your Colleague : Impression!!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You: Phir kya hoga…

Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!

You: Acchha to phir kya hoga…

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You: To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

“Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao. Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste “

Powered by ctrl C
Driven by ctrl V

Ack : ~ Vishal Jain

May your software be bug free in the coming days
May you get on-site opportunities as soon as possible
May your PL or PM stop assigning you work on Friday evenings
May your pay be the best among the industry
May you not learn many more languages in the near future
May you get flood of mails and forwards from everybody
and lastly,
May you see a world beyond coding, de-bugging and delivering

§ÖM£ §W££T £XTR£M£§ !

EXTREME OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

EXTREME OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.

EXTREME OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.

EXTREME OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.

EXTREME OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a ‘Send All.’

EXTREME OF ACHIEVEMENT:
A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.

EXTREME OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending email to himself.

EXTREME OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you by some one in the receiving chain.

EXTREME OF BROWSING:
You are swimming in the water tank and shout “F1 F1 F1?” instead of shouting “HELP” when u are unable to swim..

EXTREME OF MY FRIENDSHIP:
I always mail, u don’t.

EXTREME OF HAVING NO WORK:
You reading such mails(posts).

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough,

When I don’t do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview When my boss
applies for le! ave, it’s because he’s overworked

When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets