Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering –
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a
question
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says – What a
shit? “I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all” ?
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory….

2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected
was Amritsar where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters…..

Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks
the other to check whether it is working. He puts his head out and
says – YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO

Sardarji, tell me …., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know – it means….
S – Sardaron ke
M – Mazak udane ki
S – Service

Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyom bhej raha hai ?
Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karna ho to dusra tere paas
rahe!!!.

Sardar goes to a shop to buy underwear –
After selecting one, the shopkeeper tells it costs Rs 150.
Sardar – Arre bhai, Daily wear dikhao, Party wear nahi
chahiye…

Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman? – Because his name was ‘Ben’ Kingsley.

Why does the Gujju go to London? – To see his Big Ben.

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea? – Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.(snacks)

What is a Gujju picnic called? – A snake in the grass

Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent. (important)

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju? – Because he said ‘Sue kare chhe.’

Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten? – The Gujju told him, You are an impotent man.

What will a Gujju tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race? – Come on, Tomato, Ketch up

What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon? – His son failed in statistics.

Maro dikro Dubai gayo? – My son drowned.

Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams? – He wanted to get cent-par-cent.

Why did the gujju go to Rome ?
He wanted to listen to POPE music.

What did the Gujju have in the morning?
LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.

What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
You are going from BED To VERSE.

Why won’t the gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for KESH.

21st Century…

Our communication – Wireless

Our dress – Topless

Our telephone – Cordless

Our cooking – Fireless

Our youth – Jobless

Our food – Fatless

Our labour – Effortless

Our conduct – Worthless

Our relation – Loveless

Our attitude – Careless

Our feelings – Heartless

Our politics – Shameless

Our education – Valueless

Our follies – Countless

Our arguments – Baseless

Our boss – Brainless

Our Job – Thankless

Our Salary – Very less

Ack:~ Jothi

HUSBAND – HAI DEAR, I AM LOGGED IN.

WIFE – HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
HUSBAND – BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME

WIFE – BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
HUSBAND – ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.

WIFE – HAE BHAGWAN! FORGET IT WHERE’S YOUR SALARY.
HUSBAND – FILE IN USE, READ ONLY, TRY AFTER SOME TIME

WIFE – AT LEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
HUSBAND – SHARING VIOLATION, ACCESS DENIED

WIFE – I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRING YOU.
HUSBAND – DATA TYPE MISMATCH

WIFE – YOU ARE USELESS.
HUSBAND – BY DEFAULT

WIFE – WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING
HUSBAND – SYSTEM UNSTABLE, PRESS WHEN U R ANGRY FOR 1 MINUTE U LOSE 60 SECONDS OF HAPPINESS!

appun jaise tappori s/w Engg. ko kya maalum…
saala programming kis chidiya kaa naam hai…
template me subclassing karke apanaa timepass hota hai….
copy paste kaa kaam miltaa hai bass appun khush…!!!
fir yeh coding kaa lafdaa locha kaiko?
are kaiko ?
arre kaiko re?
fir ek din boleto appun ko project mila…..
ya haaaaaaaaaa!!!!
saala appun ka khopdi chakkar kha gaya …
computer ke saath dil saala takkar kha gayaa…!!!
appun ko lagaa appun kaa beda paar ho gaya…
boleto baap saala appun ko bhi kaam mil gaya…!!!
din bhar appun computer ke aagge…
koi lafdaa nahi kuch nahi…
tin din naa Raghu se raada na Abbhi se pangaa
bass choop chaap…
appun kaa bhidulog saala dar gaya…
bola kya be manya saala tu bhi programmer bann gaya…!!!
phir ek din appun ko kaam kartaa dekh vikya bola…
ye munnabhai kya coding bana rela hai baap…!!!
vikya ko pakdaa… bola idhar aa shahane tereko coding seekhataa hai… saale ko itnaa dhoyaa itnaa dhoyaa… abhi tak thobdaa waakadaa hai … aur aaj tak uska forms ke saath chattis kaa aakdaa hai…!!!
samzaa …?
samzaa…?
samzaaa naa…?
(fir …? fir kya huwa..?)
fir ek din appun ne coding poora kar diya…
form poora karke appun ne testing ko bhej diya…!!!
lagataa tha ab appun kaa kaam khatam ho gaya…!!!
par DTS me issues dekhake sala appun darr gaya…!!!
appun ke saamne tester ne mere coding me ki galtiyaa nikali… aapun ke coding ki poori waat laga di…. appun udharich khadaa thaa… par appun kuch nahi bola… kaiko bolega? kaiko…?
saala ek, ek kaam kiya thaa… usme bhi itne bugs…
par appun ek aansu nahi roya…
kaiko royega…?
kaiko..?
saala appunich yedaa thaa naa…!!!
agale din se phir wohi life chalu…
wohi gande mails forward karnaa, wohi messages, wohi template, wohi assignments… saala itnaa mails forward kiya…itnaa mails forward kiya… log samze mail server down hoyega… bhoolneka hai bhoolneka hai par kya karega…!!!
training milke bhi jab kaam nahi miltaa hai…
haa thoda bore huwa par chaltaa hai…
(phir …? phir kya huwa..?)
fir …?
fir kya…?
fir agale din appun ko aur ek project mila…!!!
shaappak…
saala appun ka khopdi phir chakkar kha gaya …
computer ke saath dil saala phir takkar kha gayaa…!!!

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.So both groups gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……When TC arrives,All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes Away….
NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI – LONAVALA):
Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that we too are equal”….All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all!!!!!..TC arrives….
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in Engg. Bathroo! m… TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA): !
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the loc al to Pune.This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.ALL Doctors take 1 tickets…Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time… SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets
……………… ….Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train………..

Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don’t mess with Engineers.

Ack : ~ Sachin Mall

1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee

2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee

3. What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee

4. Bruce Lee’s sister-in-law’s name?
* Saa Lee

5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee

6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee

7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee

8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee

9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee

10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee

11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee

12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee

13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee

14. Favorite Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee

15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee

16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee

17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee

18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee