Ack : ~ Raaghu

class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge();
char non_co_operative;
};

class Married_female_Software_Professional
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossips;
float hopes;
void work();
char unstable;
};

class Female_Engaged_software_professional {
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding();
char edgy;
};

class Indian_Newly_Married_software_professional {
double dinner_invitations;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_breaks;
float talks;
void bank_balance();
char hen_pecked;
};

class Indian_husband_wife_software_professional
{
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_company;
void lov
};

Class Guy_who_wrote_this{
Long time_on_bench;
Void work();

}

U can study and get any certificates.. but u cannot get ur death certificate

U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH

U can bcom an engineer if u study in Engineering college .. u cannot bcom a president if u study in Presidency College

U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop … u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop

A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software

U can find tea in tea cup.. but cannot find world in world cup

U can find keys in Key board but u cannot find mother in mother board.

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs. 10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7, 50.
“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.
“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor. “First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7.50 and now only Rs. 5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”
“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.
“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby.
and last
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby

Try Following examples
Indians are know for
Americans are know for
Germans are know for
Pakistanis are know for

Dog Watch
Guest: “Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?”

Hotel Host: “I can’t imagine, unless it’s because you have the plate he usually eats from.”

The Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses’ wife instead: “I’m afraid he died last week.” she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. “I told you” the wife replies, “he died last week.”
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

“I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?”

“Coz . . .” he replied laughing, “I just love hearing it. . . .”

Time
SURD: “Excuse me sir, what time is it?”
MAN: “It’s 3:15.”
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different
answer.”

The Burnt Ears
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.

He said: “I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear.”

The man asked “So what happened to your other ear?”

He said “That same stupid guy called again”

What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said “That’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”

Hotel Ka Khana
Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Bhai sahab kahan tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.

2 Pagal
Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhara aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari. Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

Clever
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon…
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
time when we don’t need it.

Germs
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

Disney Password
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long.

“Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”

Do you know what is family?

Do you really understand what is behind the word family?

It gives me a shock when I know the answer.

So long I never realize I don’t know the real

Meaning of family……….

Here Is The Answer ………. FAMILY =

(F)ather

(A)nd

(M)other

(I)

(L)ove

(Y)ou

WHY does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:

(W)ashing

(I)roning

(F)ood

(E)ntertainment

WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND? because:

(H)ousing

(U)nderstanding

(S)haring

(B)uying

(A)nd

(N)ever

(D)emanding

Do you know that a simple “HELLO” can be a sweet one?

Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).

The word HELLO means :

(H)ow are you?

(E)verything all right?

(L)ike to hear from you

(L)ove to see you soon!

(O)bviously, I miss you ..

Click on this link n follow d steps
Its a MagicSlate its spk wht ur heart wants to speak

http://www.chiragmehta.info/magicslate.php

Do you know the specialty of this year?

It starts with Sunday and ends with Sunday.
No public holidays on Sundays.
This year has got maximum number of Sundays and Saturdays.
So enjoy the least working year in your life!
2006 A year with a difference!

Ack:~ Kuldip Bhatt