Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep

Hence,  Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
Implies Human – enjoy = Pigs + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = pigs that work

********************************************************

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep

Hence,  Men = Pigs + earn money
Implies Men – earn money = Pigs

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Pigs

********************************************************

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep

Hence,   Women = Pigs + spend
Implies, Women – spend = Pigs

In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Pigs

********************************************************

Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock : “Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.
Young cock : What ya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.
Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can’t I help you with some?
Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I loose you will have all.
Young cock : O.K. What kind of competition?
Old cock : 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.
Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.Suddenly,Bang! ……before he could overtake the old cock..

He was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, “What the hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I’ve bought this week!“

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it “yesterday once more“. They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: “Why didn’t you come to our date?”

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: “Mom didn’t allow me to go…” J …..

Letter from husband ( who is abroad) to wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband,
Allen

============ =========

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses Instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items……. ….
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days Leave without any notice. When he returned his PL asked for explanation. The employee said “Sir, my mom died unexpectedly” . The PL let it go at that.After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this time he said his father died. Then the PL got changed. After 3 months the same pattern repeated. And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.

After 3 months same thing again… and this time his father died. This happened repeatedly for 2 years. At the end, one PL checked his past records and told him, “I have caught you red handed, How come in the past 2 years, your mom has died 5 times, and your dad has died five times?”

To which the guy said, “Sir, my mom died and my father remarried. Then my father died and my new mom remarried. Then my mom died and the new father remarried. This has been going on and on and on and…”!!!!!

Achchha, ab shru karte hain
toh ek couple hai..
woh jab sath me rahte hai toh ek bhi cockroch n kide unke najdik nai
aate…
y..
kyonki ladke ka naam laxman n ladki ka   naam rekha hai… :)  totally Laxman Rekha

How would u calculate volume of a person whos memory is lost????
Think…….
its 1/3(pi*r*r*h)
do u know why………….
‘coz he repeatively says,”mein CONE hun???”.

ok, flashback to Sholay
Yeh haath humko de de thakur..
ahin..
Yeh haath humko de de thakur..
Nai..
Yeh haath humko de de thakur..
Thakur : abye 4 – 4 haath lekar SHERA Wali Mata Banega kya???

Once ther was a man by name Bhagwan. A beautiful girl by name Raani falls
in love with Bhagwan. After few days of their affair, Raani dies. Why??
Kyonki woh Bhagwan ko pyaari ho gayi!!

Who is Aparna’s younger sister?
Lowerna!

Ek ladki raaaste ke beech mein bahut ro rahi thi…achanak ek car
aati hai aur use thokti hai…fir bhi woh ladki nahi marti…in fact the
car is damaged ..how????

woh bahut ro rahi thi
ro (density) is very high.
density x volume = mass
therefore mass is very very high.(higher than car)
isliye gaadi damaged!

BPL – PJ (Below Poverty Line – PJ)
If Yash Chopra wants to make movie on Veerapan what would be the name of
veerapan’s wife in that movie ??
socho socho
thoda aur deemag lagao
Zaarapan !!!!!

dil mein chubhi sui
gaur farmayiega
dil mein chubhi sui
ooi ooi ooi……….

Ek Gaon mein ek Daku reheta tha..
Sab Gaonwaale usse darte the… usse duuurr bhagte the…
Par Ek din us ne apne Gun ko MangalSutra pehenaya aur sab
gaonwale uski pooja karne lage…..
Kyu???
Kyon ki woh Gun – Pati ban jaata hain… .

Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh…. Naye language seekh. Night out Maar….Fundoo programming  kar like me….! Do something cool man !!

You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga …
Your Colleague : Impression!!! Appraisal !!! ar appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You :Phir kya hoga…
Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga…
Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.

She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!

Ack:- Saurabh Rawane

Why dogs don’t marry?
Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

Two types of people in the world:- Some who are HAPPY. Others who are MARRIED. …..Think again…..

To the Bride and Groom – live life to the fullest and remember, this is the first day of the rest of your life…

Dear [bride’s name],
Isn’t it quite funny how History repeats itself?
[Bride’s Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy…and now it’s happening all over again

Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.