The Manager says: Do you have any sales experience?
The Indian says: Sir, I was a salesman back home in India.
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. You start tomorrow.. Ill come down after we close and see how you did.

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. How many sales did you make today?
Indian boy says: Sir, Just ONE sale.
The boss says: Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, youd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?

Indian boy says: 237. 64
Boss says: 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?
Indian boy says: Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where hes going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him hell be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didnt think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where hell be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while were at it, I should throw in about worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: Youre not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?

Indian boy says: No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind.

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company,
where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”
The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the Congratulations for?”
One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?”
The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”
The three friends said: “What a shame..what a disappointment. ”
The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either.
His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.”

Ack :- Abhirup Ghosh

The news editor looks worried.
The owner sits nearby with his face buried.
The rating is dipping,
The barometer is tripping.

The channel is going down,
With competition all around.
Frustration keeps mounting,
People are sweating.

“What to do? Where to go?”
“We’ve tried all tricks; what more is there to show?”
Breaking news and sensations do not count any more.
Even the fabulous anchors have become an eyesore.

Crime investigations have become clichéd.
News is not shown. It is created.
Sting operations are becoming a big risk,
Big Brother is watching with an invisible fist.

They need an idea.
The nine o’clock news is their only hope.
But that looks worse
Than a run-of-the-mill soap.

Suddenly an idea clicks in their mind.
It may be a flop or a great find.
People want instant news.
What if they get it a minute early?

Let others show advertisements,
They will show headlines.
They start off at eight fifty nine,
With hopes of an ominous sign.

Will it work?
Will it sell?
This is something perhaps,
I can’t tell.

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78?

At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed

At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

At 78 — What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

નજરો જુકવી એ શરમાતા હતા,
મને શી ખબર એ મુસકુરાતા હતા.
જીવુ છુ હવે એના વગર,
બધાય જાણે છે કે એ બીજા માટે હરખાતા હતા.

A teacher in a mathematics lecture asks a 3rd STD class, ‘If there are 3 birds on a tree and u shoot one of them, how many birds would remain??’ Johnny, the naughtiest of the lot, shoots up his hand.
Teacher: ‘ O.K. Johnny, what’s the answer?’
Johnny: ‘NONE, maa’m.
Teacher: ‘How?’ Johnny: ‘After hearing the shot, all the other birds will also fly away.’ Teacher: ‘No Johnny, the answer here is 2, but I like the way u r thinking.

Now Johnny has a doubt. Johnny: ‘Teacher can i ask u a question?’
Teacher: ‘Sure’.
Johnny: ‘There are three ladies having ice cream at the parlour. The first one is eating it, The second is licking it while the third one is sucking on it. Can u tell which one of the ladies is married??’
Teacher is terribly embarrassed, but she puts on a brave face and answers:’I….I…… I guess the one which is sucking on the ice cream is married.’
Johnny: ‘NO maa’m, the one who has the wedding ring on her finger is married, BUT I LIKE THE WAY U R THINKING’!!!!!